SHEILA AND LEONA

Sunday, July 25. 2010

With the summer still quiet before this university town wakes up (and the two of us settling into our new marital state), I’ll report on what’s going on back in Domain with Kell and her cousin Sheila.
Only recently did Sheila become a real presence in the family’s life; before that she’d been this shadowy figure of rumor and tall tales. It turned out that those outlandish stories were only partially embellished by Kell and Elanor, and that she really is as eccentric as advertised. She sees herself as a “seeker,” but that seems to be a self-rationalization for a past that’s careened through myriad reinventions without adding to the development of genuine inner growth. I hate to say this, but for someone in her late thirties she strikes me as being a teenager...and the absolute antithesis of Kell.
And now Sheila is in a very serious relationship with Frank Mangle. I noticed that at my wedding reception that they were quite lovey-dovey...but that the body language of Frank’s daughter Leona was pretty uncomfortable. I chalked that up to Leona being in the presence of Rhonda. (Rhonda used to date Leona’s current BF Edgar...and that awkwardness was the reason Edgar wasn’t at the wedding. Of all the no-shows, at least he had an excuse!)
According to Kell, Leona is very protective of her single Dad, and I can relate. She wants to make sure Sheila is the right choice for him. It would help Sheila immensely to cultivate a relationship with Leona, but she’s neglected that. With Kell’s insistence she’s trying to play catch-up on that score.
Today's question is a personal one: do you think I'm being too judgmental about Sheila?

Posted by Lindesfarne at 12:57 | Comments (16) | Trackbacks (0)

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Well, if you are anything like a human, you can't help but judge people in your mind. Try to be polite to Sheila and don't but in unless she asks for help from you.
And I have a little question for you. With the Apollo 11 anniversary last week, I was wondering...what species was Neil Armstrong in your world? His lander was called "Eagle", was that his species in your world?

#1 Tom Mazanec (Link) on 2010-07-25 14:23 (Reply)

I would suspect that Leona attitude towards Sheila stems not just from "teenaged daughter looking after her widowed father" but also from the Lioness looking out for the head of her pride. Sheila is going to have to make a commitment to both Frank and Leona before Leona accepts her. Her wolf heritage may help Sheila with this problem.

#2 Pat M on 2010-07-25 14:25 (Reply)

Neil Armstrong is a hermit crab. It was thought his being used to living in a shell would be an asset to being in a capsule.
Buzz Aldrin was the eagle. (Most astronauts are flying species: birds, insects, bats... There was one hedgehog, however. *ahem*)

#3 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2010-07-25 14:47 (Reply)

Was Neil's first words on the Moon these: "That's one small step for (a) crab, one giant leap for animal kind"?

#3.1 EHH on 2010-07-25 21:40 (Reply)

Unfortunately, it's all too common to judge another based on limited information, so don't feel too bad. The fact that she's putting the effort in tells me that her sincerity is real. Given her apparent nature, however, maintaining it might be a challenge.

#4 Mortar on 2010-07-25 15:32 (Reply)

Sheila is making the effort, but all her life her problem has been with follow-through.

#5 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2010-07-25 16:11 (Reply)

Give it time, Lindesfarne. Some critters are just a little late to mature. Since Sheila's never married or had cubs, she hasn't had that extra incentive to "grow up." With what she's been through lately, though, she just might decide that stability is a good thing...and all of the reinventing she's done of herself in the past might become channeled into the flexibility she'll need to deal with her new situation.

Well, one can hope anyway. I was about Sheila's age when I got out of a bad situation and had to grow up. I'm doing fine now, but for a couple of years or so it was definitely a work in progress (it always is, but at least now things are safe and stable, knock wood -- and no offense to Tree on that!).

#6 Terri the Tiger on 2010-07-26 00:51 (Reply)

I think rudy should do some portrit work will he is working for Kevin. set up an easle where he is & have those who want their pictures drawn stand ot sit near him will he either paints sketchs their pictures.

#7 STEVEN BRAMS on 2010-07-28 13:08 (Reply)

As someone who was single until my late 30s, yes, I think you are being unduly judgmental. "Immature" is not synonymous with "not-married" as much as many married folk seem to think. Something political I read said (trying to trim the politics) some folk expect adults to make marriages; others expect marriages to make adults. Marrying right out of school fits the second pattern, but it's no more "mature" than the first.

#8 Robin on 2010-07-29 08:47 (Reply)

Lindesfarne, I was wondering if Gwyneth will be going to school with Coney?

#9 Pat M on 2010-07-29 23:57 (Reply)

Gwenyth has a few years on Coney. They might share an elementary school (the latter's probably in pre-K now), but Coney would interact more with one of the younger skunks in the family.

#9.1 Classic Steve (Link) on 2010-07-31 13:32 (Reply)

Is your bat step mother sampling you?
She should pick on larger people, who have more to give.
'Otter

#10 Old Prof. Otter on 2010-07-30 00:11 (Reply)

I know Tree has agreed not to monitor your bedroom when she knows you and Fenton want private time together. But I don't think its possable for someone to approach her without her knowing it.

#10.1 STEVEN BRAMS on 2010-07-30 11:09 (Reply)

I don't think you're being fair to Sheila.

You say that you've only recently become acquainted with her, yet you say that she has a "past that’s careened through myriad reinventions without adding to the development of genuine inner growth." How exactly are you measuring Sheila's (lack of) inner growth?

I'm disappointed that someone who has always prided herself on being scientific, logical and tolerant of differences in other people would make a snap judgement like that.

#11 Jelsemium on 2010-07-30 03:32 (Reply)

I understand how you feel for Leona's sake. Like you, I had a step-parent, and therefore can empathize with other children in divorced or widowed families. It's okay to worry that Sheila isn't being genuine, but I am sure she is, even if she's not great at showing it. There is a learning curve to most things in life, including dating a man with a child. She will probably be able to use her flexible nature to learn this art too.

#12 Ashley on 2010-07-30 17:29 (Reply)

I've know people who have tried six or eight different 'paths' in life before settling down. They're the ones with the more interesting stories, and often have wider perspectives than us straight-and-narrow types.

Everyone judges everyone they have a relationship with, that's, well, not human, call it "normal". The important thing is that you keep your mind free to re-evaluate as things change. There was this pushy, overbearing fiddler who got on my nerves all the time, and we've been married 28 years. You never know.

#13 john r on 2010-08-01 11:30 (Reply)

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