Sunday, May 30. 2010
COUNTDOWN TO THE WEDDING
It’s dawn, and we’ve just returned from the Fuscus household where Desdemona came clean about her true species. We’re tolerant of Vampire-Americans, but unfortunately word is spreading all over town to the less enlightened citizenry due to the gossipy flea network.
Looking back, I now see how Desdemona’s success in keeping her diet hidden from even her own offspring actually undermined her relationship with Fenton. The elaborate subterfuge resulted in her becoming emotionally distant, and with Fenton actually establishing an alternate maternal bond with Tree. There’s a lesson there, I suppose.
I’m going to sleep until about 4:00 in the afternoon, and then the countdown will begin for the wedding beginning at midnight. I had hoped to text regularly, but with this new factor I doubt I’ll be able to post anything new, or reply to comments. Thanks in advance for your understanding!
Last week someone asked about my wedding cake. It’s an insectivore cake, filled with crunchy weevils and maggots. The catering firm also has desserts ready for other diets at the reception.
If you’ve received an invitation, please come! Vampire bats aren’t at all what you think.
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If there are regular flea dips, Lindsfarne (I seem to recall that Herd Thinners has a policy on that), how is it that Angelique's fleas survived to be old enough to read, much less to text or hold jobs to buy cell phones with?
A welsh-corgi/werewolf
A welsh-corgi/werewolf
In today's strip, your parents have been getting (apparently) loads of calls from people canceling their attendance at your wedding, Lindesfarne. This is bad because it means whoever paid for the wedding (over here, it's traditionally the family of the bride) is going to have spent a great deal of money on no-shows. It does have a good side, though: it will show who your true friends are. I was certain something would go 'wrong' with your wedding, but I wasn't anticipating this!
I do admit: I find it cynically interesting that blood-sucking parasites like fleas are so gossipy about other blood-suckers...
I do admit: I find it cynically interesting that blood-sucking parasites like fleas are so gossipy about other blood-suckers...
Charlie, you are obviously NOT a carnivore, we carnivores can easily cover for a host of no-shows food-wise (well, carnivore food anyways, don't think I have the stomach for the insectivore no-shows)
Like most humans, I'm an omnivore. Even predators have to limit their food intake, otherwise they may get too fat to chase down prey. However, an overabundance of available carnivore food will certainly reduce the possibility of having a prey species wedding attendee ending up on the menu!
I don't think the fleas are born on the ones they live on. Remember most if not all the hunting takes place in the WILD. The wild is teaming with fleas. No place to get a flea dip out their. I would not be suprised if fleas claimed the cell phones of the animals killed by HT hunters & used untill it was turned off for non-payment or in the case of a contract thats payed by the year untill it ran out. They could have a joint account to pay for cell phone bills. Fleas drink the blood of their host so they have little need for money. If I remember right the fleas on Rudy payed their morgage with sacks his blood.
Maggots? Oh, dear...
Please make sure to eat the whole cake at the reception, dear Lindesfarne. (In some cultures, it's traditional to keep a slice of cake for a year from the day of one's wedding. In other cultures, it's traditional to give out pieces of the wedding cake for people who couldn't be there.) As you well know, maggots multiply quickly -- and they can infect people. Myasis is no fun!
Regardless, have a truly wonderful wedding!
Please make sure to eat the whole cake at the reception, dear Lindesfarne. (In some cultures, it's traditional to keep a slice of cake for a year from the day of one's wedding. In other cultures, it's traditional to give out pieces of the wedding cake for people who couldn't be there.) As you well know, maggots multiply quickly -- and they can infect people. Myasis is no fun!
Regardless, have a truly wonderful wedding!
I would think that the maggots would not survive being backed into a cake. After all the oven heats up to at least 350 degrees if not higher.
I would not mind attending the wedding. I guess my invitation was lost in the mail. Even if I recived one the local portal is always closed for 3 weeks starting from the last week of May because the oporates who run it go on vacation for that time so they move it to an undisclosed area to keep it safe.
I would not mind attending the wedding. I guess my invitation was lost in the mail. Even if I recived one the local portal is always closed for 3 weeks starting from the last week of May because the oporates who run it go on vacation for that time so they move it to an undisclosed area to keep it safe.
We'll find out soon enough whether the cake maggots are alive or dead...
Considering that the cake slice is frozen (vacu-save that slice, Lindsy!), it's doubtful that even if it was prepared to have live contents that it would have living maggots after the wedding day...
On another note, maggots DO make a novel treat, though I may be speaking from my perspective as a bear...
On another note, maggots DO make a novel treat, though I may be speaking from my perspective as a bear...
Hrmph.
Give me dry-roasted crickets, or mealworms (with garlic and chili and lime!) instead of maggots any day!
Give me dry-roasted crickets, or mealworms (with garlic and chili and lime!) instead of maggots any day!
Sorry to hear about your guests canceling. Hopefully some will change their minds and show up.
WOW. 125 guests canceling out at the last minute. Hopefully they will change their minds & come anyways. I know I wouldn't want to miss this wedding.
I have only one word for the ones who canceled out. WIMPS. Fleas are more of a danger then one vampire bat.
The people who canceled are jerks. I would gladly attend your wedding Lindesfarne if I could only somehow cross over to your world from the human world. Oh well. 
I happen to think it's very hypocritical of a flea (a blood-feeding species) to call out a fellow bloodsucker.
I am SURE Angelique bribed them.
I am SURE Angelique bribed them.
Again and again, like the sound of bells,
Many happy times at your wedding and beyond.
I'll just tap into the limited telepresence, in our universe called Bill. I would love to be there, it just is not possible.
Are we doing the parable of the reluctant wedding guests?
Will you have to go to the nearest roadway and button hole folks to attend?
'Otter
Many happy times at your wedding and beyond.
I'll just tap into the limited telepresence, in our universe called Bill. I would love to be there, it just is not possible.
Are we doing the parable of the reluctant wedding guests?
Will you have to go to the nearest roadway and button hole folks to attend?
'Otter
If we are doing that parable or a story that does a riff on it,
you will panic and open the wedding to all, maybe with a craigslist adv.
The real scary wedding party members are not the vampire bat, but what I have called the wolf pack. In terms of actual kills, or likely number of kills in the next 10 years, Coney, then Kell, then maybe Rudy, then maybe RL, then the rest with Desdemona being somewhere ahead of Corry/Bruno, but not far ahead. Meeting your wolf relatives could be very scary.
But for the same reason, the local prey species would love to meet them socially, even more to have them beholden to them.
Being able to cry 'Wedding Guest' or Fenton! when stalked by some of the true uber-hunters could be a survival positive response -- if they can get an invite and if they survive the reception. I would expect that any vermin would love to have Coney as a playmate instead of a predator, for example. Truly survival positive, if they can survive the introduction.
Remembering the parable, one should dress to the nines and have a good gift -- these things could be worth your life. The unfortunate who dresses poorly may be mistaken for prey by the caterers, per the parable. And if one of the herd survives the intro, the rest might approach.
In anycase Coney is moving up to bigger game, and the bigger game should take the advice of the vermin class and either emigrate or befriend. Coney has never killed anyone she has been introduced to. Kell has, but generally with extending circumstances (Mr Springer Spaniel on national TV for an example.)
Interested in how close I come, and realizing that it is total speculation.
Also we are having a bandwidth/time streach thing on the human side, your 24 hrs is our 4 weeks. Hope you get this, but nice if you read it afterward and think that it could have been.
'Otter
you will panic and open the wedding to all, maybe with a craigslist adv.
The real scary wedding party members are not the vampire bat, but what I have called the wolf pack. In terms of actual kills, or likely number of kills in the next 10 years, Coney, then Kell, then maybe Rudy, then maybe RL, then the rest with Desdemona being somewhere ahead of Corry/Bruno, but not far ahead. Meeting your wolf relatives could be very scary.
But for the same reason, the local prey species would love to meet them socially, even more to have them beholden to them.
Being able to cry 'Wedding Guest' or Fenton! when stalked by some of the true uber-hunters could be a survival positive response -- if they can get an invite and if they survive the reception. I would expect that any vermin would love to have Coney as a playmate instead of a predator, for example. Truly survival positive, if they can survive the introduction.
Remembering the parable, one should dress to the nines and have a good gift -- these things could be worth your life. The unfortunate who dresses poorly may be mistaken for prey by the caterers, per the parable. And if one of the herd survives the intro, the rest might approach.
In anycase Coney is moving up to bigger game, and the bigger game should take the advice of the vermin class and either emigrate or befriend. Coney has never killed anyone she has been introduced to. Kell has, but generally with extending circumstances (Mr Springer Spaniel on national TV for an example.)
Interested in how close I come, and realizing that it is total speculation.
Also we are having a bandwidth/time streach thing on the human side, your 24 hrs is our 4 weeks. Hope you get this, but nice if you read it afterward and think that it could have been.
'Otter
125 cancelations... YIKES.
Lindsfarne, if I were you and Fenton I would hold the reception at 125 locations.
Gezz... talk about crass wedding guests.
Lindsfarne, if I were you and Fenton I would hold the reception at 125 locations.
Gezz... talk about crass wedding guests.
I would speculate that the stigma has to do more with how vampires feed than that they eat. Unlike fleas and ticks, vampire bats prey on the sleeping, their razor-sharp teeth never waking their victim. While vampire myth in our world is a mash-up of various folklore, in theirs it could stem from how the victim never awakes during feeding.
From our point of view we shrug and wonder what's the big deal. Then again, let me point out that in our world, where one can be judged by the color of their skin, we're not quite so logical, either.
One hundred and twenty-five cancellations? Their loss. You know who your real friends and family are now.
From our point of view we shrug and wonder what's the big deal. Then again, let me point out that in our world, where one can be judged by the color of their skin, we're not quite so logical, either.
One hundred and twenty-five cancellations? Their loss. You know who your real friends and family are now.
Question. How many of the cancellations are from freind or family members.
also if I could get a ride from Arora cab would I be welcome at your wedding.
also if I could get a ride from Arora cab would I be welcome at your wedding.
Now reading Aurora Cab due to your recommendation.
'Otter
'Otter
Arora cab appers in Gene Catlow webcomic. This cab can go anywhere on earth using something called a D hopper. I was hopeing it could go between dimentions as well as point to point on their home planet.
Also got the Catlow ref, but was not sure of the spelling, went to search the web, found this discontinued comic instead. It was not bad, just not Catlow level good. Oddly the cab also had trans dimentional ability, just not so pushy about it.
#9.1.1.1.1
Old Prof. Otter/Godel Fishbreath
on
2010-06-06 02:30
(Reply)
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry about the cancellations. I had only 20 people show up at my wedding when my invitees found out I wasn't serving alcohol. (Even without alcohol we still ended up with a kickline and an Australian singing 'O Canada'.)
People cancel over the stupidest things.
Congratulations to you and Fenton, dear girl. You both deserve every happiness in the world!
People cancel over the stupidest things.
Congratulations to you and Fenton, dear girl. You both deserve every happiness in the world!
If you need alcohol to have a good time... you don't know how to have a good time.
I hope that I can come even though I haven't received an invitation (well, you don't know my mailing address, although my email address is in the comments I leave, of course) - I think I mentioned before that there were a few friends that came to my wedding that I didn't invite (mainly because of the smaller church size, had to really pick and choose) and I was pleased to see them there. If you let us know where it will be (looks like the debate now is to go to a smaller church), I'll be there, living in Domain and all.
Ken is right, there will be unintended guests, mostly spouses and kids and relatives that were true outliners.
Most of the list on your side is relatives, and most of them are true and loyal. Are most of the cancellations on the Bat side? The bat side might be very much more sensitive on the vampire issue.
Its not like she kills anything... I totally agree. I would rather have Des mad at me then Kell, I would be much more likely to survive the experience.
But someday I expect that Kell and Des will split a meal -- my friends call it Spratting, after the 'Jack Sprat could eat no fat' kids poem.
Only a few dozen.. out of a few dozen plus 125.
Massive problems, but only a few dozen friends.
'Otter
Most of the list on your side is relatives, and most of them are true and loyal. Are most of the cancellations on the Bat side? The bat side might be very much more sensitive on the vampire issue.
Its not like she kills anything... I totally agree. I would rather have Des mad at me then Kell, I would be much more likely to survive the experience.
But someday I expect that Kell and Des will split a meal -- my friends call it Spratting, after the 'Jack Sprat could eat no fat' kids poem.
Only a few dozen.. out of a few dozen plus 125.
Massive problems, but only a few dozen friends.
'Otter
I'd be glad to go as well...with that many cancellations, at least there will be plenty of food for "crashers." Heck, I might even consider letting Fenton's mom take a bite (I know the caterers didn't plan for vampire bats!); this time of year, all the mosquitoes seem to find my blood really sweet, so I won't even notice.
Terri, that offer was so sweet. You're wonderful.
Yes, Show solidarity, give the mother a drink.
It hurts less than doing the same for Kell.
'Otter
Yes, Show solidarity, give the mother a drink.
It hurts less than doing the same for Kell.
'Otter
I agree very much with that way of thinking. I don't dance myself but thats what happens at many weddings. Dance contests are popular. Sometimes even a conga line is a lot of fun. Special contests for the younger guests.
Try teleconferencing to ease the minds of those cancellations. We are in the age of digital means, after all.
Alas, I, too, shall be missing out on an old friend's coming wedding. The migration path is far too distant on what time I'm permitted away from the shackles of work. No teleconferencing available. Just promises of delayed video. A truly close friend that taught me how to operate weapons of defense all so long ago and accepted me into the inner rings of a hunting pack. Always ready to fend off any with "less-then-friendly" intents. Sure, the folks tried to ban him, telling me to find "better" friends...you know, like other hoofers and such. But, I always stuck by him. And, my life would be very different if I hadn't. If only the distance wasn't so great...
Anyhow, have a great marriage to Fenton. May you two love birds be forever intertwined in that great flight towards the future.
Alas, I, too, shall be missing out on an old friend's coming wedding. The migration path is far too distant on what time I'm permitted away from the shackles of work. No teleconferencing available. Just promises of delayed video. A truly close friend that taught me how to operate weapons of defense all so long ago and accepted me into the inner rings of a hunting pack. Always ready to fend off any with "less-then-friendly" intents. Sure, the folks tried to ban him, telling me to find "better" friends...you know, like other hoofers and such. But, I always stuck by him. And, my life would be very different if I hadn't. If only the distance wasn't so great...
Anyhow, have a great marriage to Fenton. May you two love birds be forever intertwined in that great flight towards the future.
Wow, weapons of defense in a hunting pack, eh? That was eye-opening, jup-reindeer; I think we predators tend to forget (or dismiss) the variety of experiences a prey species can have, even to the point of becoming like a predator. No offense intended by the way (and none taken, I hope!). And I like to think I'm one of the more open-minded predators out there...
I'm sorry you won't be able to make that wedding, but I'm glad to hear you still maintain such close ties with someone who has taught you so much.
I'm sorry you won't be able to make that wedding, but I'm glad to hear you still maintain such close ties with someone who has taught you so much.
Well, I may consider a gun to be defensive. (Hince, why my traditional Santa decoration totes one.) But, it still makes my blood run cold to remember the day that I got invited to go target shooting on some old technology. This wound up meeting with some unfamiliar and very well fed dogs. As I understand it, most honerable predators despise the use of weapons. Not this pack. Sure. They somehow were accepting of me. (Maybe a deer with a gun somehow evened the playing field.) But, the technology that just sat there and exploded was not good enough for those mutts. No. We had to go hiking for something better. Like some rural squirrel mother that was just trying to gather for her children. She never saw the attack. Afterwards, the 'proud mutt' went over to sniff and play with the victim. Content that she would move no more, he laughed, kicked dirt in her face and walked away. I never accepted another offer to go practice shooting, again.
Ouch...I don't blame you! Killing live targets is only for food; that dog pack...grrr, I'm trying to restrain myself from saying "what do you expect from a canine?" but of course cats are the ones with a reputation for playing with our prey. Those dogs you encountered are the kind that give predators a really bad name.
125.... Ouch... that's harsh. once i went to this wedding where only 13 of the the guest showed up, and that including me and my family (there's four cats in my family).
but anywho... hope you and Fenton have a great wedding!
but anywho... hope you and Fenton have a great wedding!
I was going to ask if any of your bridesmaids cancelled, but I see they stayed loyal. Kudos to them, the cancellations will make a smudge on the wedding, but the important part of this is the marriage you and Fenton make once the show is over.
With 125 cancelations The need for security is greatly reduced if not eliminated. Invite some of the extra security people to the wedding. I think they would do a better job if they can have a good time will doing it.
As for the guests who canceled at the last minute send them pictures of how much fun the guests who did show up had.
I have a feeling that some of them may show up anyway. If they do make them ask to be forgiven for wanting to cancel. If they are children of the guests who canceled welcome them with open arms. They are a lot braver then their parents.
As for the guests who canceled at the last minute send them pictures of how much fun the guests who did show up had.
I have a feeling that some of them may show up anyway. If they do make them ask to be forgiven for wanting to cancel. If they are children of the guests who canceled welcome them with open arms. They are a lot braver then their parents.
HO great. Time for the lame excuses. Keep track of them. After the wedding send a token gift to the most original excuse. The gitf. The scared rabbit award.
If I may recommend an old, but apposite toast for this occasion:
"Here's Champagne to our true friends -
And true pain to our sham friends." 7@=e
"Here's Champagne to our true friends -
And true pain to our sham friends." 7@=e
I can't believe vampires on your side are still ostracized. Here in the human side, they are enjoying a renewed popularity due to interest in books, movies and television such as Twilight and True Blood.
I guess not EVERYTHING is parallel between our worlds.
I guess not EVERYTHING is parallel between our worlds.
Rather surprised that the vampire bats of this world don't utilize the Terry Pratchett Discworld solution. The civilized vampires there wear black armbands, form a temperance league and are more or less productive (if still rather undead) citizens.
i am still wondering, what a sick relationship lindisfarne and fenton have.
it's a relationship where it is apparently fully normal to come up with the question of eugenics (in the 21st century!) the night before the wedding and to create a dna-profile of the husband-to-be without even bothering to ask him.
apparently, neither privacy nor trust are really important in that relationship, lindisfarne does not care for fenton other than him being a tool for her curiosity and distrust.
and on top of that, instead of questioning the future of so damaged a relationship. guests are blamed for not appearing to a wedding already ruined?
calling it "hypocrisy" is putting it very mildly ...
ps: sorry, no real email -- with someone not even respecting the privacy of her fiance, as a stranger i will hardly give out personal information.
it's a relationship where it is apparently fully normal to come up with the question of eugenics (in the 21st century!) the night before the wedding and to create a dna-profile of the husband-to-be without even bothering to ask him.
apparently, neither privacy nor trust are really important in that relationship, lindisfarne does not care for fenton other than him being a tool for her curiosity and distrust.
and on top of that, instead of questioning the future of so damaged a relationship. guests are blamed for not appearing to a wedding already ruined?
calling it "hypocrisy" is putting it very mildly ...
ps: sorry, no real email -- with someone not even respecting the privacy of her fiance, as a stranger i will hardly give out personal information.
ANNOYED. I think you are a little off base. It was Dorathy who insisted that Lindesfarne do a check on Fenton's DNA. Lindesfarne was still willing to go on with the wedding. I would have more to fear from R.L. them from Fentons mother.
Their is a good reason for knowing the backround on the one you are going to marry. DNA also shows in their are any health problems in Fentons family. Why wait for someone to get sick with an unknown sickness & not know what to do to cure it.
Their is a good reason for knowing the backround on the one you are going to marry. DNA also shows in their are any health problems in Fentons family. Why wait for someone to get sick with an unknown sickness & not know what to do to cure it.
I agree. Try having RL for an in- law... Still, Hang in there, Linsesfarne! You're almost there. :3
Angelique may have ben Lindesfarne's adopted mother at one time But the moment she left kevin I think she lost any claim as either mother or mother inlaw.
In all intent she was raised in a one parent home due to the fact that kevin was the only one taking care of her.
The only real impact Angelique had on lindesfarne was to switch from insects to plant for food. But only because she did not want to be bothered finding insects for her to eat.
In all intent she was raised in a one parent home due to the fact that kevin was the only one taking care of her.
The only real impact Angelique had on lindesfarne was to switch from insects to plant for food. But only because she did not want to be bothered finding insects for her to eat.
Sigh... Kevin, Kevin, Kevin... When will you learn that you shouldn't tempt fate by asking "what else could possibly happen" when things have already started to go downhill?
I think if you asked around you will find out that Kevin is not the 1st to ask that question. Kell, Lindesfarne, Fenton & his parents have asked them the same question several times over.
Its a good thing Lindesfarne was able to shame the ones who showed up. Now if we can do the same with some of the ones who cancelled.
Its a good thing Lindesfarne was able to shame the ones who showed up. Now if we can do the same with some of the ones who cancelled.
Yes, I am aware of the fact that other individuals have asked the same question before. I'm also aware of the fact that it ALWAYS has results along the same lines.
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