SHOWER STALL

Sunday, May 2. 2010

My bridal shower was yesterday, held just before my graduation. Could this month get any crazier? And it’ll only get worse as the big day approaches.
When everyone asked what I needed most, my answer elicited a wide range of responses. (Astonishment, disgust, surprise, etc.) However, it’s true. Tree is my home, and the tree surgeon monitoring her progress in adapting to her transplanting says she requires an immediate spreading of fertilizer around her base. It’s not a crisis situation; but more to prevent a future crisis. The amount of fertilizer required is expensive, though, so that’s what I asked everyone to give me.
I rented an empty hauling vehicle exclusively used for such cargo from a farm equipment company and headed up the Domain. The shower took place at the Fennec boarding house, which has a large number of occupants. Most of the...contributions...came from that source.
Fenton stayed back at Beige, and Kevin, Rudy, George Fennec, Uncle Ralph and Francis hid out in the family treehouse watching the muddy Kentucky Derby. The shower itself was a concentrated dose of estrogen; more than I’m comfortable with, actually. But of course I was polite and smiled a lot. This was in my honor, after all. I enjoyed catching up with Kindle relatives I hadn’t seen in years since Dad and I left the rabbit warren.
I departed with a full load and drove back home. (Yes, I said Tree is home now.) She’d created her own shower...of pine cones. I thanked her profusely, and later called Douglas Squirrel to come and get them. By the time he and Gran arrived at mid-evening, Fenton and I had unloaded the fertilizer.
I’ve now been up for 24 hours straight. These daytime events are really messing with my circadian rhythms. And now I’ve got a graduation to attend... I'm going to sleep now; in the meantime, what kind of bridal shower gifts do human brides get?

Posted by Lindesfarne at 12:19 | Comments (19) | Trackbacks (0)

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Well, fertilizer is a rare gift...

I don't know for myself, since I've never been to a wedding shower, nor have I ever held one.

#1 Selina Grace on 2010-05-02 13:37 (Reply)

Over here, brides can ask for practically anything. Things for a new home tend to be on top of the list. A new TV for example, or a oven for the kitchen. It would be a bit unusual for them to ask for fertiliser like you did, but other stuff for the garden would be likely.

#2 Simon Wentworth (Link) on 2010-05-02 14:02 (Reply)

I live just outside Washington, DC. Tree'd smother in fertilizer if she were here!

An old joke on this side is that bridal showers usually give three or four toasters to a bride-to-be...when she already has one. My suggestion for all of these kinds of gift-giving parties: unless you know exactly what the person wants, give money. There's an attempt made to avoid both of these social gaffes by having the bride-to-be create a list of things she needs and post it online. It doesn't always work out, though. (This is from a life-long bachelor, so take it with a mile-wide salt-lick...)

#3 CharlieG on 2010-05-02 14:28 (Reply)

I think only the most avid of gardners would ask for fertilizer. Treehouses for living in are pretty rare here, let alone the tree being the house.

#4 Bixyl Shuftan (Link) on 2010-05-02 15:32 (Reply)

Another joke about gifts for either showers or weddings is Ice Buckets. I think my brother got 3 or 4 of them. I think the on-line register is the best idea. It tells you what they need. More important it tells you what they don't need.

For the couple who don't need anything it will tell you what their favrite chatitys are so you can make a donation in their name.

#5 STEVEN BRAMS on 2010-05-02 16:36 (Reply)

Unfortunately, even with online registers, people will STILL end up with multiples of stuff that they don't need. I've gotten stuff for friends for the bridal showers and looked in the registers to see stuff like ice buckets and dip trays in the negatives for required numbers.

#5.1 Nicky on 2010-05-02 21:08 (Reply)

The best suggestion I ever heard for bridal shower gifts was "consumables." People gave the couple things like candles, stationery, and wine; I gave them a humorous book on wedding etiquette.

#6 l'empress (Link) on 2010-05-02 21:44 (Reply)

Showers are traditionally items the bride will need to set up housekeeping. Usually a bride will have a Hope Chest, a cedar chest purchased in high school for items such as linens, china, pots, etc, in anticipation of a future wedding. Today brides "register" at a store, particularly on a selected china pattern (if they haven't already purchased one) in which well-wishers can buy gifts that will match the pattern or color scheme.

Despite all the jokes about toasters and ice buckets, we didn't get either. We bought - and still use - our first toaster, though I've had to replace the plug. We're still using towels she received at the showers, and that was over twenty years ago.

The most appreciated gift was a pantry shower. Basically friends stocked our pantry. It was quite a surprise, and quite a help.

#7 Harry on 2010-05-02 22:38 (Reply)

One more thing. did Fenton realy think he had to remind Lingesfarne to thank Tree for her gift. I think Lindesfarne loves Tree too much not to.

#8 STEVEN BRAMS on 2010-05-02 23:06 (Reply)

Well, (even though I am not female, I was thinking about wedding gifts for you the other day (theoretically, as I haven't been invited)) the first thought that actually came to mind for me for a gift for you was a "roach motel" - in those "big box" stores you see around here (on this side of the portal, humans, have no idea how they work there if you have them) that cater to all ends of the food chain, I've seen them in both the insect aisle (as "housing") and insectivore aisles (as "culinary accessories") - kind of chuckled over the dual-species-type use and filed it away in my brain, guess it came up then. Have no idea if you'd appreciate it or not; but to be honest, the situation with Tree and fertilizer didn't enter my mind at all.

Being a guy, I still am blissfully unaware of bridal shower gifts; when Mrs. Lion had her shower, she got lots of cuts of meat, I specifically remember this because, even after eating well at the shower, she had lots to bring home to me, it lasted I think until around the time of the wedding! (So I guess the human case of "everyone bring the same gift" does translate over here!)

#9 Ken D. Lion on 2010-05-03 00:18 (Reply)

Get some sleep and talk to us when you wake.
Maybe you can remember your dreams, which might indicate your fears or your hopes.
'Otter

#10 Old Prof. Otter on 2010-05-03 02:36 (Reply)

When I registered, most of what I picked out were cute and cheap (20 bucks max) serve-four-to-six dinnerware sets, because I have a gorgeous antique china cabinet and hutch for housing displaying china - but I had only plastic plates and cups (I had just left college - of course that's all I had!). I figured we would mostly get the dinnerware sets, which would have made me happy. The shower came and went without a single set gifted - but I figured, hey, I'd probably get them at the wedding. Well... I wound up getting every other item I'd registered for, some in duplicate, but not ONE SINGLE DINNERWARE SET! Just goes to show you, you can't count on getting what you register for, even the cheap and easy stuff!

#11 Sara Starling on 2010-05-03 03:08 (Reply)

While fertilizer does it's "EW" factor, I can't say I'm terribly surprised. You've always been a long-term thinker.

So, what about Fenton? Is he gonna have a bachelor party?

#12 Mortar on 2010-05-03 13:35 (Reply)

Hopefully. the only problem is finding a place everyone can get togeather at. Most of the guests will be flyers so they have to find a place can feel safe.

#12.1 STEVEN BRAMS on 2010-05-03 15:20 (Reply)

If Fenton had a bachelor party, it probably had more testosterone than is comfortable for him.

#13 Classic Steve (Link) on 2010-05-03 15:37 (Reply)

A lot of the bridal showers I've been to tend to involve lingerie as the gift... items like household goods tend to be reserved for the actual wedding day/present opening.

Since so many people live together or on their own before getting married on the human side of the portal, registries are usually incredibly useful, although it still doesn't seem to prevent from multiples of the same item. Since my cousin & her husband had been living together several years before they married, they asked for financial contributions to the honeymoon. It was easy for us, extremely useful for them, and it meant that they had something better to remember us all by than 5 ice buckets

#14 annoyn on 2010-05-03 17:13 (Reply)

Again, Congrats on the grad
'Otter

#15 Old Prof. Otter on 2010-05-04 13:56 (Reply)

All these day events must be killer. You should definitely have a night wedding. Fenton's family, you, your insect friends all would enjoy it. After the sacrifices you made for these day things, your family can stay up for a night wedding. Besides, if Ray or Angstrom showed up they could help save on the light bill.

#16 Kody Coyote on 2010-05-05 18:41 (Reply)

I don't think you will have to light the whole hall. The area where the bats will be left dark because bats like it that way.

I think ray will have to stay at the light house unless he can get a replacement for that night.

As for the time the wedding takes place. I think between 10pm & midnight would be a good time. Not too early for the bats or Hedghogs & not to late for everyone else.

#16.1 STEVEN BRAMS on 2010-05-05 22:03 (Reply)

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