JUNE 5

Sunday, November 15. 2009

When I walked into my advisor’s office on Monday I had no idea that less than a week later I’d be here at home looking at my wedding dress hanging in my closet. It’ll stay there until June 5, the day I’ll become Lindesfarne Fuscus.
What happened is that during my first three years of high school I was a herbivore, during which I’d taken a large number of Advanced Placement classes in foraging Then, just before my senior year I switched to my natural hedgehog insectivore diet. (Long story) Things may work differently on the human side (since you’re all one species), but here a college degree involves instruction in both your field of study and your diet. I thought I was still looking at two years of insectivore courses after I’d finished my genetics studies, but that all changed due to recent reforms in species classification. Suddenly I was cleared to graduate in May.
This knocked me on my quills. While I’ve never doubted my love for Fenton, I wasn’t prepared for a wedding so soon. My initial instinct was to rebel against Fenton’s mother who would surely hold me to my vow to marry immediately after graduation. It took my roommate Rachel to direct my view to what was really important, which was Fenton himself. (This also means that next fall Rachel will be available to room with her girlfriend Joan Hoof when Joan enrolls at Beige.)
I gave Fenton the news in flight, which meant that I’m still finding pieces of billboard in my quills. We flew back to Domain for the weekend to give the word to my parents, his parents and Tree, and on Saturday we visited the dressmaker. I’d actually picked out the gown a while ago, so the silkworms were able to complete the job by the end of the day.
We’ll be back at school by nightfall, and of course we’ll return next week for Thanksgiving. I’ll be trying to keep Fenton involved in the wedding preparations, but he’s not shown any great interest in the details. It’ll probably end up being an estrogen thing, planned by me, the two mothers and my posse of Rhonda, Rachel and (via long distance) Tammy. With my bridesmaids being a tiger, a rhino, a moth, a fennec fox (Fiona) and a sheep (Corrie), it’ll be a challenge finding a gown that’ll look good on all of them.
Any suggestions? (today's question)

Posted by Lindesfarne at 11:54 | Comments (46) | Trackbacks (0)

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Hmmm, a pale powder pink number is subtle and complementry enouigh to their apearance to be at the very least acceptable, if not flatering. (I'm working off what I know of the species, as being on the domain side I don't see the legendary 'comic'.) The good thing is, if you chose a simple enough design (and silk so the moth doesn't get hungry), they actually can wear them to other occasions.

#1 Bioman on 2009-11-15 12:08 (Reply)

CONGRATULATIONS. You two have, I hope, many years of happiness coming to you. Lots of folks are going to tell you that marriage is work, and they're right. Remember the joy you have in each other, and let that carry you through when things get rough.

I hope Fenton doesn't get TOO out of the loop. Grooms these days are increasingly involved in wedding planning on our side. There's cultural pressure (inertia?) towards assuming it's "an estrogen thing" but it's his day too.

Keep us posted!

#2 Uberhill on 2009-11-15 12:14 (Reply)

I'm with Fenton, as a guy my wedding was simple. To me at least. "Just tell me where to stand." (And if I remember correctly, that was the same thing George said to Danielle.)

#2.1 Jeff on 2009-11-15 16:54 (Reply)

Re: bridesmaid outfits that look universally good - BetaZed style! (yes, that is a Star Trek reference...sosumi)

#3 Allen Howell on 2009-11-15 12:25 (Reply)

Being a single male male who has never ben married I have some ideas. You have 4 very diffrant woman to dress. 1st have then go thru their own closets and see if they have something that goes with your wedding dress. If that fails find a designs for each that brings out the best in each of them. Remember you have 4 size groups to dress starting from large to small. Do they all realy have to match to wedding dress. We men are lucky. All we have to do is rent a tux for a few days & return if when the wedding is over. Unless he has one in his waredrobe. But then its good for a lot more then a wedding.

#4 Steven Brams on 2009-11-15 12:34 (Reply)

One option for diverse species (read human body shapes) is choose a fabric and get a dress made in that fabric which suits each individual: they can have a flattering style, but the overall look will be fairly uniform.

#5 Rosemary on 2009-11-15 13:03 (Reply)

It seems the best thing to do sicne your bridesmaids are all different species (and sizes!) would be to get something flattering to them, as well as something suitably functional. I suggest a simple long gown possibly in a dark color. I know it's a bright occasion, but the dark color will be figure flattering to your friends, and the simple design will make the dresses easier to use for a later formal event.

And don't worry about Fenton not being too interested in planning the wedding. Most guys aren't. Keep trying to include him, even if it's just by updates on what you've got so far. Most guys only really want to know where to stand, and where the honeymoon will be. Good luck!

#6 Steff on 2009-11-15 13:15 (Reply)

Mazel Tov! I'm sure you and Fenton will be very happy together. As I tell anyone who's getting married, remember what this day is about: the two of you saying, in front of friends and family, that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Everything else is secondary. Not that it's not important!
Now, as to bridesmaid dresses, I would suggest basic black in a style that flatters each. BUT said styles shouldn't be too wildly different from each other. Similar hemlines, sleeve lengths, etc. They don't have to look exactly alike, but the combined look should flow together. It can be done!
I look forward to June. Again, congrats to you both!

#7 Joan on 2009-11-15 13:37 (Reply)

Thanks, all, for the well wishes and for your suggestions. As for the dresses, I agree that something basic would be the way to go to make everyone happy.

#8 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-11-15 13:54 (Reply)

Congratulations, Lindesfarne. Like the others I think the best thing to do is work with your bridesmaids to find a colour/fabric they all like, and then have the style be made to fit their figure.

But now I'm curious, you're going to graduate, which means... grad school applications? Will you be staying at Beige? Or will you be going elsewhere? And what does it all entail?

#9 Ytsken on 2009-11-15 14:31 (Reply)

Beyond June 5...I don't know. This has all happened so fast.

#9.1 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-11-15 15:12 (Reply)

Congratulations, Lindesfarne.

#10 Bixyl Shuftan (Link) on 2009-11-15 14:54 (Reply)

My suggestion is to give your bridesmaids a range of colors and styles and have each pick a dress that looks DIFFERENT. I'll likely only have two bridesmaids, my sister and my closest cousin, and the three of us have radically different tastes in clothes, and look good in such different things. The only thing I'll have to insist on is that my cousin not wear black. Of course, I say all this with the realization that I won't be wearing a white, off white, cream, or any of that dress-I look terrible in ultra light colors like that. My dress is likely to be lavender, and if I know my sister, hers will be some shade of yellow and I think my cousin will go for a rose color.

#11 Selina Grace on 2009-11-15 15:30 (Reply)

Congratulations, Lindesfarne!

Being both male and a non-devotee of fashion, I doubt I can help much with the Bridesmaids' gown situation. I can make one suggestion, though: do what your aunt Danielle did. Let them wear gowns they already own. Just try to co-ordinate the colors. (Based on my limited experience, most people won't be looking at them anyway. You and Fenton will be the center of attraction.) And, just to be picky, Tammy would be a Matron-of-Honor. (evil grin)

If I were really nasty, I'd suggest adding another bridesmaid or two and have them wear ROYGBIV individually. (ROYGBIV=visible spectrum: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.) Actually, Tammy might look very good in indigo or violet...

#12 CharlieG on 2009-11-15 15:43 (Reply)

Lindesfarne and Fenton, congratulations!

To the extent that I'm familiar with wedding planning, the custom is to either have the bridesmaids dressed in the same style or the same color, if not both. The maid or matron-of-honor may wear something different.

Note: "Custom". This is not a law! At least on this side of the portal, there are no laws concerning wedding attendants, although witnesses are necessary. Do not let well meaning friends or family members push you into something that you don't like, just because it seems proper to them.

That goes for Fenton's groomsmen, too.

My bridesmaids were all human, but that is where the similarities in their looks ended. Blonde hair and black hair, very tall and very short, wildly different physiques, and an age range that started with a ten year old. We ordered simple "Empire waist" dresses in a color that looked reasonable on all of them, and hoped for the best.

They looked lovely, and all of them were able to reuse their dresses for other occasions, which they appreciated.

If you choose a simple style, all of your bridesmaids should look good. Stay away from frills and flounces unless everyone likes them. From the pictures that I've seen of your bridesmaids, that's not their style.

Above all: try not to stress. Weddings are supposed to be joyous!

#13 Owl on 2009-11-15 16:54 (Reply)

Thanks, Owl! That's very true about my bridesmaids. They're all down-to-earth types who don't go in for frills and such.

#13.1 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-11-15 17:23 (Reply)

> They looked lovely, and all of them were able to reuse
> their dresses for other occasions, which they appreciated.

I'm curious how the 10-year old reused her dress?

#13.2 Mortar on 2009-11-15 17:51 (Reply)

I didn't see her in it, but she wore it as a guest at a formal evening wedding and reception. It may have been shortened.

The dresses were simple with a floor-length straight skirt falling from an "Empire waist", and a bit of lacy trim along the neckline. The fabric was soft, and draped beautifully.

One of the older bridesmaids shortened her dress and wore it to several semi-formal receptions at her university. Another wore her unaltered dress (with different accessories) to several college dances. She looked good!

There are advantages to choosing a dress that doesn't look like a stereotypical "bridesmaid's dress".

#13.2.1 Owl on 2009-11-15 20:47 (Reply)

First off, congradulations! I'm sure you and Fenton will be happy in this next stage of your lives.

As for advise, I doubt I can help you, being a single, human, male with little fashion sense. Heracross, I doubt I'll even have that much input on my own wedding (maybe catering, I do have a good love of food, but even then I'd probbably be good with whatever she desides) whenever that would be.

Well, hope all goes well and you find a good time to hold the wedding considering the guests would both be noct- and diurnal.

#14 Alex on 2009-11-15 17:29 (Reply)

Regarding your diet change, we know all about it. Remember we've been following you and your worlds goings on since '95. Which means we've also seen you in your wedding dress. You looked very beautiful. Fenton's a lucky guy. As for the bridesmaid's dresses, it seems (at least here) to be a universal constant that they always look horrible, so I wouldn't worry too much...Heh!

#15 Mortar on 2009-11-15 17:30 (Reply)

I think she might put that up for those who read her blog on her side of the portal, because the webcomic desn't exist on Earth Double Prime (or whatever it's called by on the multiverse scale).

#15.1 Alex on 2009-11-15 21:54 (Reply)

On the multiverse 'scale' domain is known as 'terra-delta', while the human universe is known as 'terra-beta'. On that note, if you happen to find a portal stabilizer, do not type in 'expa-alpha'. Long story-I made that mistake once, and now have a double-jointed left thumb.

#15.1.1 Velani (Link) on 2009-11-16 16:30 (Reply)

Fenton is wise. When it comes to wedding plans, the best thing for us males to do is to stand waaaay back as the females hash it out. The only advice I can offer is that the marriage isn't made in the ceremony. Many a young couple starting out has wished they'd had some of the money spent on the wedding. I have to echo your father's reaction: "$3,000 for a dress?" Sure, most of the money is the deposit. But my wife's dress came from JC Penney, and no bride has looked as lovely.

Wasn't it your aunt who had a good idea about bride's maid's dresses? Something they could wear after the wedding?

Given your and Fenton's mom will probably "lock horns" before it's all over, wouldn't June 6 be a better date?

#16 Harry on 2009-11-15 20:12 (Reply)

Just curious as to your reasoning behind changing your name when you get married. haven't you already had research published under your maiden name? or is that not as much of an issue in Domain as it can be here?

#17 Susan on 2009-11-16 00:14 (Reply)

I spent most of my life as Lindesfarne Kindle, so changing my name again isn't such a big deal.

I did get the H1N1 vaccine last week.

#17.1 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-11-16 02:11 (Reply)

I have my wedding somewhat planned. I want a winter one though. My cousins and friends who are to be bridesmaids are going to wear a dress of their choosing that falls into the selected color scheme of my wedding. That way they each get to look nice and not so matchy matchy. I thought you might like that since your family is not matchy matchy either.

By the way, you don't have swine flu running rampant do you? If so are you getting the H1N1 vaccine? I'm not.

#18 Ashley on 2009-11-16 01:41 (Reply)

Congrats, Lindesfarne!

I agree with several people above who said to keep the dresses simple. Perhaps even let them vary a little, as long as the color and cloth are consistant; There's just not likely be one style that looks good on all of them. Of course, that's assuming that you don't go the route that several women I know seem to have, and intentionally chose a style that isn't flattering on any of them!

Your gown looks lovely, by the way. It's probably a good thing the comic doesn't circulate on your side of the portal, though, or Fenton might have caught a glimpse - on this side, at least, it's considered to be very bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the ceremony.

#19 Bramble Patch on 2009-11-16 03:44 (Reply)

Words of advice for bridesmaid's dress choice?
"Good luck, sucker."

.... ok, being serious now;
Got a theme for the wedding? Allow for alot of leeway in dresses; as long as they're still thematically appropreate, it'll still come together well.

#20 Xuncu (Link) on 2009-11-16 06:39 (Reply)

Congratulations to you and Fenton!

For your dresses, one cut that always looks good on all body types is an A-line cut. It flows away from the body in a very flattering way. When combined with the Empire Waist someone else mentioned it makes for a very appealing silhouette.

Another option I've seen done is to select a color and dress length then have the bridesmaids select a dress they like and find flattering on them in that color. This allows them to go for sleeved or sleeveless, flashy or plain, straight or A-line, etc. depending on their personal tastes but still has a uniform look.

One very neat thing I saw at a wedding I attended a few months ago was that the bride had her shoes colored to match the bridesmaid's dresses and the bridesmaid's shoes were the color of the bride's gown. It was a very interesting effect that really tied everything together in a subtle way.

#21 Silaria on 2009-11-16 09:20 (Reply)

I have a question in return. It's not uncommon on this side to have college graduation severely delayed for a change of major (more or less, depending on how many courses are in common) but Diet? Doesn't that make you less qualified to EAT? Or is there something like plant identification courses (because some insects gravitate to particular plants) common to both?

#22 Robin on 2009-11-16 09:40 (Reply)

Contrary to most people's misconceptions, most animal hunting/foraging behavior isn't "instinct", it's a skillset - something learned. (Lindesfarne herself is a clear example, being an insectivore who learned as an infant to be an herbivore.)

In a world where the bulk of the population actually seeks out it's own food (as opposed to shopping) and the intended prey and/or the competition for food is sentient, I would think that very sophisticated skills would be needed, far beyond the skills used by their non-sentient human-world equivalents.

(Tangential Query: What would happen if a non-sentient animal were taken from Earth to the Domain world? Would it remain the same? Become sentient? Or something else?)

#22.1 Bookkeeper-At-Arms on 2009-11-16 13:45 (Reply)

You and Fenton will be very happy together, I'm sure! I'd just like to remind you that you have a choice about your last name: you can keep yours, take Fenton's, hyphenate the two (my choice), or make up a new name (my maid of honor and my daughter both did that).

#23 Johanna Meyer-Mitchell on 2009-11-16 11:19 (Reply)

When I got married, my bridesmaids were all the same species - but definitely not the same body type. And they ALL lived in different places - so there was no way to do a dress-shopping day with them. I picked one that looked good on me - and one by one, they all called and BEGGED me to please not make them wear that dress. I looked EVERYWHERE then finally found one that was available at Casual Corner (a store that could be found in the cities where they lived). Everyone looked lovely (and nobody complained this time) but in retrospect, I should have done what another friend did - picked a color and a skirt-length and told them to have at it.

And yes, you are quite right: focus on the marriage more than the wedding or you and Fenton will go nuts.

Congratulations and best wishes!

#24 Corey-Jan on 2009-11-16 11:44 (Reply)

I'm not sure if someone has already said this but what I often see now is the bride telling the bridesmaids to make sure that the dress is a certain color and then letting each individual choose the best dress to suit them. Considering how different each of your bridesmaids are in size and personality, it would give them a lot more freedom to make sure they're comfortable.

Congratulations! I hope you two have a wonderful life together, I wish I was there to photograph your wedding, it would have been the most interesting one I had ever done with the most interesting people.

#25 Fuzzy on 2009-11-16 17:14 (Reply)

First, congrats.

Second, do Fenton and you really want a big wedding with all the planning and hassles?

When my (now) wife and I sat down and talked/thought it over, we realized that NO that's not what we wanted. Then again, considered how scattered across the country parts of our respective families are, a planned wedding would have been more than a year away.

So, we went the simple route, in the woods, by a waterfall with only our very immediate family present. It was wonderful, all were happy despite the lack of a large party. As there was very little planning involved, it eliminated the stress.

When either mother asked "What about this or that..." the response was, "you both told us it's all about us...well this is what WE want."

Good luck and may you have many wonderful years together.

#26 Aldin on 2009-11-17 06:28 (Reply)

Every time I see someone say that a bridesmaid's dress can be re-worn, it makes me smile. Yes, some are, but I had one Matron of Honour, and she picked her own gown and never wore it a second time. In her mind it was a 'bridesmaid' dress, not a 'fill-in-the-blank' dress. That was actually a running gag in the movie 27 Dresses, since the weddings were all themed events that were unlikely to recur.
Fenton is eager for this event, or rather, the life that this event starts, I presume, but keep the lines of communication open. You are both about to get VERY busy, and will have everything from organizing your new lives, to catching up with old friends and family who want to see you again filling up your days. Make sure you take time to tell him things, and listening to him, too. Remind yourself, and him, that when the ceremony is only photos in an album, the two of you will still be each other's joy and support.

#27 Stephanie on 2009-11-17 11:39 (Reply)

Please add my congratulation to those already given. While no-one doubts your love for Fenton, since this was a bit of surprise, do not feel you need to rush toward your wedding. Your desire to fulfill your promise is admirable, you should not let it pressure you to leap forward and cause undue stress.

Oh, and should your mother-in-law continue to lay on pressure regarding YOUR wedding (and, remember, it is yours and not hers), perhaps you should remind her how hedgehogs react to such aggressive actions.

Sorry for not replying as much lately. Lots of things seem to be popping up where I am.

#28 Patch O'Black on 2009-11-17 12:49 (Reply)

I swould like to make a sugjestion to the bridle shop. When they have bride who also eats insect. Give the bride a waffer dispencer that has waffers made from insect. They could be soft & chewy. That should keep their minds off the silk worm.
Your Bridesmaids are also your Posse. How about going out like the posses of the old west to round up some of the hard to find items you need for the wedding. Instead of horses use a convertible or pickup truck. If what you need is out in the wilds Make a 2 or 3 day camping trip out of it.

#29 Steven Brams on 2009-11-17 19:28 (Reply)

I just know with the varied diets of your friends and loved ones, you are going to have a hard time planning wedding dinner and reception banquet.

I am curious to see an insectivore's wedding cake!

Anyway, something about Francis came to mind. I have never seen anyone in Domain depicted with shoes! Do you have them over there? If not you need to rig up something for poor Francis' little tootsies! Our human feet are soft and vulnerable to stings, gravel and debris!

#30 Ashley on 2009-11-18 00:34 (Reply)

First of all, congratulations on the date! Hope I get to see it myself.

But I have a question reguarding Fenton's mother, and this is kind of a curiousity: How come the mother's of the bride and groom always seem to get in a fight? I never saw an instance where this was not the case. Why is that, do you think?

As for the dress thing.... hmmmmm.... why not a dress for each one, to celebrate diversity?

#31 Mister Ebony on 2009-11-18 09:51 (Reply)

My parents and in-laws get along very well, but I think the stereotype comes from parents who want to live vicariously through their children, or who see the wedding as an event affecting their own social standing. I remember an autobiography in which the bride-to-be was not allowed to pick the religion of the church for her own wedding; the groom's two sisters had married Catholics in Catholic churches, the future mother-in-law was a protestant, and her son was her last chance to have a child married in her own church! The stubbornness was especially irrational, since the bride-to-be had been a nun released from her vows for health reasons, and still believed in Catholicism.
I think Fenton's mom (what is her given name?) wants control because of the social ramifications, but I feel certain that Kell is just standing up for a loved one in a tense situation. That makes me feel even better about your future, Lindesfarne: you have solid support from a loving, extended family. That will come in handy in so many ways.

#31.1 Stephanie on 2009-11-18 11:29 (Reply)

CONGRATULATIONS, what do you think about mint green or beige. Definitely something light

#32 Andrea Affäre (Link) on 2009-11-18 10:36 (Reply)

Let me add my belated congratulations, Lindesfarne!

As a vixen who will likely be getting married in a couple of years, and who also has a diverse assortment of species for family & friends, I can sympathize with your problem. I was raised by beavers, I have another sister who's a raccoon, and one of my closest friends is a dog.
I don't go for a lot of fancy stuff and frills myself, so I'll just reiterate that you should stick with a style that's simple & basic. It should be a dress style that can be altered to flatter each species, as others have suggested. Soft colors are probably best.
Good luck!

#33 Taff Keepstream on 2009-11-18 11:48 (Reply)

Congrats, Lindesfarne! I really wish I could have seen when you broke the news to Fenton, your "billboard" comment put some humourous pictures in my head.

I am married (I've mentioned Mrs. Lion a time or two here ... ) and yeah, it was a "just tell me where to stand" thing. Of course, remember that in lion society, females are take-charge and, while males are pretty powerful (we ain't called "kings of the jungle" for nothing!

) the females do the hunting and as such are forces to be reckoned with in lion society, so, yes, Mrs. Lion and (especially) her maid of honour ran the show.

I was going to ask if we are all invited (or at least those of us (like me, hint hint

) who live in Domain (I can send you my address if you need!

), but I remembered back to my own wedding, when a friend of mine who I didn't invite (nothing against her, but I didn't feel close enough to her to invite her to the wedding in a church that only seats 120) just turned up anyways, as weddings are public events. (Reception, of course, was invite only.) I'll check the local papers (and watching the blog) in hopes that you might let it slip where you're getting married, I'd love to come and see! (I don't even care about not sticking around for the reception, bugs aren't my thing

(Yes, I know that you'll have diverse diets there.))

#34 Ken D. Lion on 2009-11-19 00:15 (Reply)

I had a theme wedding - Renaissance/Middle Ages. So the outfits were reusable at ren-faires and such.

#35 Bookkeeper-At-Arms on 2009-11-19 11:48 (Reply)

My wedding was simple - I picked out my colors (chocolate, red and ivory) and then my wonderful mother made each of my three girls a top, skirt and jacket that matched her style/body type. I know my maid of honor has reused her skirt several times and my sister has used the pieces multiple times in the last 18 months since my wedding. That's the best suggestion I have. Pick a color flattering to all (or one that has shades flattering to all) and then do pieces (skirts/tops/jackets if your wedding site requires covered shoulders and your girls prefer strapless/tank styles). Later they have multiple pieces to use with their wardrobe.

#36 Kait Klein on 2009-11-27 12:43 (Reply)

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