WHO BIRTHED THE ELECTRIC CAR?

Sunday, May 17. 2009

WHO BIRTHED THE ELECTRIC CAR?

The answer: Aby Eyeshine. Oh, there are plenty of electric cars around, not to mention hybrids, but it was Ms. Eyeshine who found a way of continually recharging the battery with static created by rubbing the fur of the passengers. (It can only be the vehicle’s passengers, of course, since the gentle stroking would cause drivers to fall asleep at the wheel.)
She’s been working on this ever since she finagled R.L. into funding her research. (She also got an expansion of her auto shop out of the deal.) She was very excited, until she actually applied for the patent.
That’s when she found out that a patent for the same process had been granted just the day before to Manxwell Hammer, a manx cat to whom she’d been engaged a decade ago in Silicon Valley. She was furious, and she also felt violated. Obviously he’d had access to her various computers for all these years.
I got all this from Kell, asking me to come home right away to investigate. I have my theories of how he did it, but I won’t know until I get inside her machine.
Personally, I have mixed feelings about her invention. While any reduction in fossil fuel usage is a positive development, there wouldn’t be much electricity created by rubbing my quills!
Today's question: How many of you are done with school for the summer? I am!

Posted by Lindesfarne at 01:35 | Comments (33) | Trackbacks (0)

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I was wondering the same thing as you, Lindesfarne. While Aby, and I, and several others of course would benefit from a fur-stroke-powered car (mmm!) it wouldn't help you, or Fenton, or any, say, fish, or pigs, or lizards, etc. And how thick does the fur have to be? I've seen Aby a few times (I've taken my car to her for a while, feline trust thing and all

) so I can guess her fur is thick enough, and I'd surmise mine is. But how about someone like Kevin? (Most rabbits I see don't as thick fur as your average housecat)

#1 Ken D. Lion on 2009-05-17 01:58 (Reply)

For them...wear a fur coat...perhaps?

It does beat the tread mill power generation system or the exercise bike power generator for powering electric cars. And, how about that fin swimmer generator that sort of works for hydro-vehicles?

#1.1 jup-reindeer on 2009-05-19 12:12 (Reply)

I understand Aby's rage. I also can't imagine how her ex managed to keep track of her research. It's difficult to believe that she's using the same computer she was ten years ago. Some kind of software hack seems likelier...

A French inventor has created a car that runs off of compressed air. No effective emissions at all. (There's still the requirements for grease and lubrication, so there's still a minor impact.) It's small but effective. He's also addressed the limited range problem by creating a hybrid gas-air engine: the gas engine picks up when the compressed air runs out. That not only keeps the car running, but it compresses air into the internal storage tanks so that they can take over again.

As for Aby's electric generator not working for you, it also wouldn't work for a large number of other people: those cars where the only occupant is the driver.

An apology for the spelling correction last week. You write well, punctuate correctly and spell accurately. Those few times you mess up are surprising. Considering some posts I've seen over here which make Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Ulysses sound like "See Dick run," your posts are Shakespearean...

I've been done with organized education for forty years, not just the summer. Dis- organized education continues for the rest of your life.

#2 CharlieG on 2009-05-17 04:10 (Reply)

Hmm. I believe it was recently pointed out to me that the US is a "first to invent" country with regards to patents. (Much of the world is "first to file", and we're looking at switching to that too.) However, that may mean that, for now, if your side is also "first to invent", and if Aby can prove that she invented it first, she might get the patent transferred to her.

#3 GreatScott on 2009-05-17 10:24 (Reply)

Ms. Eyeshine has had three primary computers in the past decade, plus a number of handhelds and laptops. That narrows the possibilities.
Disorganized education? I've had that since preschool!

#4 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-05-17 10:27 (Reply)

Did two people file the patent for the telephone on the SAME day on your side two?
I got news for you, Lindisfarne. When you are through with school, summer vacations last two weeks.
If you are lucky.

#5 Thomas Mazanec (Link) on 2009-05-17 11:08 (Reply)

Perhaps I should have skipped the play on words (organized/disorganized). If you will, education continues at The School of Hard Knocks. People continue to learn, but instead of having information presented to them, they get Reality slapping them in the face saying "That doesn't (or won't or can't) work!" Reality's slapped me silly on many occasions...

Hmmm... Is it possible that Aby's still using some software that her West Coast employers developed? If so, there may be some kind of spyware embedded in the code. If that turns out to be the case not only may Aby get her patent, she may end up owning her prior employers whether she wants to or not.

#6 CharlieG on 2009-05-17 11:49 (Reply)

Yes, the story of Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell filing patents for the telephone on the same day is well known...at least within the geek circles that I travel in.

#7 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-05-17 12:04 (Reply)

well hopefully it all works out,maybe your dad can help some how? well i heard that rabbits are really lucky but that could be a myth also what species are the myth busters lol

#7.1 zackb aka Xan solanus aka Z_sol on 2009-05-17 12:17 (Reply)

The myth is that rabbits' feet are lucky. After spending my formative years in the rabbit warren, I can attest that it's just that...a myth.

Jamie and Adam did indeed disprove this on Mythbusters.

#8 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-05-17 13:08 (Reply)

Chuckles

well now... We know that the Senior Mythbusters are felines, but... You never did mention the Junior busters... Mind if I ask?

#8.1 Wolf-Light on 2009-05-17 18:48 (Reply)

BTW, back in March Terri Tiger mentioned here that the Mythbusters were felines...curious felines.

#9 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2009-05-17 13:23 (Reply)

There are rumours of many different cars running on all sorts of things that either government or oil companies are suppressing. Most of us humans believe that to be a load of hooey (yes, I'm a human who's surname is Fox, so I pity my analogue on the other side), but there are a load of different solutions to cars being so pollutive. Abi's design seems tailor-made for car-pooling, mini-buses and public transport among the be-furred parts of your society. Travel and a back-rub? I wish we could get that over here...

#10 Alan Fox on 2009-05-17 19:58 (Reply)

I wonder why aby broke up with this guy in the first place... probaly bad in bed... IF you know what i mean.

#11 Komando Dragon on 2009-05-17 21:39 (Reply)

Well, I've been out of school for about 28 years now........

........but you know, you can never really leave: I still dream about it from time to time.....

#12 LA/wts on 2009-05-17 22:39 (Reply)

Yup, done for the year here. Let my final summer vacation begin!

And I've had that sort of schooling, too, referring to this hard knocks thing. But hey, as a famous scientist said once, its just finding other way that don't work. And he got his work eventually.

#13 Koronak on 2009-05-17 23:24 (Reply)

In the Human world, elementary through high school usually get out sometime in June and return in late August and September.

Regarding alternate fuels, I forget the name, but there's an annual event where people come up with all kinds of way to make their cars go; everything from grease to potatos...whatever. And while they may not be efficient, they all work. Pretty neat to watch, actually.

#14 Mortar on 2009-05-18 00:02 (Reply)

You know, I kind of feel sorry for Manxwell, I don't imagine that R.L. is going to be overlly happy that the research he helped fund was stolen.

#15 Joeb on 2009-05-18 00:51 (Reply)

That is just awful that he would do that to her. I wish her the best of luck with that.

I work for the Department of Education. I never get out for summer.

It is slower during the summer. We do spend our time getting ready for the next school year. I'm an office worker. Got keep that paper work moving.

#16 Hawk on 2009-05-18 02:36 (Reply)

Well now, that's a lot more disturbing. Unless she happens to have an older system that's well customized and comfortable, you'd think she'd do design work on her most recent, most powerful computer.

It seems to suggest on-going, active surveillance, with upgrades to keep current with changes in hardware, operating system, networking, security, and changes of address.

#17 Tuyu on 2009-05-18 02:46 (Reply)

It's too bad that Aby's invention, like most green efforts, has considerable downsides. In particular, anyone who normally drives alone couldn't use it.

#18 Classic Steve (Link) on 2009-05-18 12:06 (Reply)

I was just getting ready to say the same thing. Peronally, I drive alone to work and back each day, mostly because my commute is unusual. Most people head into the big city to work, I commute from one suburb to another suburb, kinda perpendicular to the general flow of traffic. People like me would rarely have passengers present to charge a car like Abby's, even if we wanted one.

#18.1 Phadin on 2009-05-19 11:57 (Reply)

Aardvarks passengers might not give much "oomph" either.

#18.2 Thomas Mazanec (Link) on 2009-05-21 15:09 (Reply)

I've heard that the army seeks out aardvarks to be tank drivers. Never sure if that was fact or myth.

#18.2.1 jup-reindeer on 2009-05-22 15:25 (Reply)

My goodness! Ms. Eyeshine becomes more impressive as time goes by. Her invention could have an added bonus, as one requires a passenger to get the benefit. Use of this car could cause an increase in carpooling, with drivers needing passengers to provide the power. As for Mr. Hammer, I believe that he is due for a good wallop from karma. Or Ms. Eyeshine with a very large mallet.

#19 Patch O'Black on 2009-05-19 13:40 (Reply)

Oh, please... I have nobly resisted commenting on Aby's ex-fiance's name, but the temptation has now gone beyond my limits.

His parents were sick people, considering they named him after the Beatles released a song called "Maxwell's Silver Hammer."

#19.1 CharlieG on 2009-05-19 19:00 (Reply)

Why sick?

Unless Manxwell is a lot older than he looks, it's not like that song was still top 40 when he was born.

...Although, come to think about it, he was probably born about the time the Sgt. Pepper's movie came out.

Now that is sick...

#19.1.1 Tuyu on 2009-05-20 12:18 (Reply)

While it could be that his parents were, shall we say, inspired by the song's title, we don't know if his middle name is "Silver". Besides, what did my comment have to do with Mr. Hammer's name being rather punny?

#19.1.2 Patch O'Black on 2009-05-20 13:45 (Reply)

"As for Mr. Hammer, I believe that he is due for a good wallop from karma. Or Ms. Eyeshine with a very large mallet."

The first line of the chorus of the Beatles' song (which does vary slightly during the repetitions) is:

"Bang, bang: Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his head..."

Saying that he might get walloped by a mallet under those circumstances pushed me over the edge...

#20 CharlieG on 2009-05-20 15:58 (Reply)

With R.L. on one side and Herdthinners' corporate lawyers on the other, I think Manxwell would prefer to get hit with a hammer.

#20.1 Bookkeeper-At-Arms on 2009-05-23 07:21 (Reply)

So Manxwell simply used a backdoor trojan to enter her computer. And when she changed her computer, snuck in a new trojan via her e-mail account. Good thing she did break up with him - an unfaithful fiancee who thinks nothing of giving her viruses is not a good thing.

Shame though - my past experiences with the Manx breed have usually been happy. They're very mellow and sociable as a rule. I guess every population has some black sheep.

#21 Bookkeeper-At-Arms on 2009-05-21 01:02 (Reply)

Just had an inspired idea: Who's to say non-furred drivers can't use a static- powered car? We already have grooming salons - these could easily double as charging stations. I know I wouldn't mind helping the environment every time I go for a nice brush & currycombing...... 7@=e2

#22 Lucius Appaloosius on 2009-05-21 21:40 (Reply)

I wish I was finished school for over the summer, but I am taking summer classes so that I can finally graduate a semester early (in Dec. instead of April). I have a question for you Lindesfarne, do you guys have MMORPGS like World of Warcraft on your side of the portal, and if you do, what races make up the alliance and the horde? What different classes are there in the game? We have for the Alliance, Humans, Gnomes, Dwarves, Night Elves and the Draenei; for Horde, Orcs, Trolls, Tauren, the Forsaken (Undead Humans) and Blood Elves -- So with the exception of the Tauren who are Bull-People, all humanoids of some description! Very Curious!

#23 LorneT on 2009-05-22 13:38 (Reply)

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