ALMOST DONE

Sunday, December 7. 2008

By this time next week I’ll be back home for the holidays, but I still have a couple more exams to finish up here. In the meantime I’ll address some of the questions that were asked here last week after I’d signed off.
J.A.M. requested info on Marty Stouffer. Yes, he exists over here. He makes gritty, slice-of -life documentaries.
Luna wondered about our world’s J.R.R. Tolkein. As you might expect from someone so fond of trees, he was an arboreal species. Specifically, a squirrel. (His friend C.S. Lewis was a hedgehog, not a lion as many have assumed.)
Someone asked about the number of Christmases we’ve had since Coney was born. I’m not sure what they meant, but it’s been a normal amount. They’ve just been action-packed.
S c y t h e had a good suggestion that I ask one question of the human world per week. That shouldn’t risk instinct loss, so I’ll take you up on that. Considering that Rudy just got his drivers license, what traffic laws do you have over there?
During the short time that Fenton and I spent as humans I drove extremely cautiously to keep from being pulled over. (The picture on my drivers license still showed me as hedgehog.) I just followed what the other drivers on the highway were doing. (Following the herd, so to speak.)

Posted by Lindesfarne at 12:24 | Comments (33) | Trackbacks (0)

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We have speed linits (varying wildly...and a tiny town, Linndale, near me gets its income from traffic tickets). We have stop lights and stop signs. We have signals on cars to indicate turns and lane changes. We have lights on the back when brakes are applied, and most cars have headlights always on while the motor runs. You have to wear your seat belt and have car insurance.
Lindisfarne, something I like about your world is how species get along with what would be devastating handicaps to us. One of the residents at our home lost his leg at the hip, and he has to get around in a wheelchair. Yet you have species, like horses, who have only one hoofed "finger" per limb, and they are able to live normal lives. Your family doctor is even a snake (and just what species is Dr. Caduceus, btw?). He has no arms or legs at all...just a body shaped like a rope. Yet he saves someone's life using CPR and has a successful practice as a physician.
It is...almost humbling.

#1 Thomas Mazanec (Link) on 2008-12-07 13:05 (Reply)

That is thought invoking. I suppose being born with these 'handicaps', as you put it, just naturally gives us the capacity to learn how to do regular, everyday things in our own ways. It hardly seems fitting to call it a handicap when it's just second nature. After all, I can't close my eyes and click to see my world through radar. Yet, I navigate my way around tree branches at high speeds, with grace. And, as far as technology goes, most things are built to suit the needs of most species.

On a totally different note, I just began setting up the display for Christmas. Glad to see that ole Protective Santa works just as well today as he did off the assembly line. It's so nice to hear his repeating speech. "Ho, ho, ho!" click, click (You see, he repeatedly loads the shot gun in his hands to threaten any unwanted visitors.)

Did I read that right? A snake doctor? Does he make 'Snake oils', too? (Just joking.) Truly wonderous.

#1.1 jup-reindeer on 2008-12-08 05:18 (Reply)

We have all those traffic laws as well. In addition, automotive engineers have been very clever in adapting their technologies for a wide variety of species.

#2 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2008-12-07 13:14 (Reply)

One comment on my question about the nudity taboo from last week: You're the expert on your world, so I accept what you said. It's just that you probably cannot imagine how strange it would seem on our side of the portal that a person could be dressed in a tuxedo one day, go around completely unclothed the next, and not cause any unusual comments. (It must make for interesting "Casual Fridays" though.

)

Our traffic laws here in the US: Speed limits 55 miles per hour (MPH) on restricted-access superhighways, 45 MPH on non-urban roads, 35 MPH in cities. (Some places have 65 MPH on certain sections of superhighway: 55 MPH is the most common.) 15 MPH around schools. We drive on the right side of the road, facing the direction we are going. (Other countries, such as your home in England, drive on the left.) In the 1970's, we introduced 'right turn on red' as a gas-saving measure. Drivers were supposed to come to a stop, and if no oncoming traffic or pedestrians would be endangered, the driver could continue through the light making his/her right turn. Unfortunately, drivers today consider this their absolute right in many circumstances and make turns without regard to pedestrian traffic.

(This last piece concerns me the most. I live near a school and, even though the right turn on red is forbidden by signs, drivers make such turns anyway. While small children are going to school. Even while crossing guards are signalling them to stay where they are. I have seen one driver with his child on board be very careful to obey these regulations while dropping his child off at school, and then after his child is safe at school, come back to the same intersection and make the forbidden turn on red.)

Sorry for venting: this lack of concern for other people's lives angers me. Our most common driving offense is exceeding the speed limit. One of the worst offenses is DUI/DWI: Driving Under the Influence (of alcohol) or Driving While Intoxicated. Again, lack of concern for other people's lives. I think that the greatest unsung hero(ine) of the past thirty years is the person who came up with the idea of having New Year's parties in hotels. They have open bars, but they come with a room there. People can drink to their heart's content, but not endanger others by drunk driving. Your world is quite different from ours, Lindesfarne: I hope this lack of concern for others is one difference...

#3 CharlieG on 2008-12-07 13:20 (Reply)

There are laws here against driving under any kind of influence. (Ever watch a feline get tested for catnip?)

#4 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2008-12-07 14:09 (Reply)

Speaking of "under the influence": in recent years, laws have been passed against driving while talking on a cell phone, as the latter have become prevalent. Studies have shown people on cell phones can be as distracted as people with alcohol in their system; something I don't have to be told, as I've been nearly hit by people clearly talking on cell phones on too many occasions!

Also a more subtle traffic law: smog checks. Cars, especially old ones, have to pass emission tests every few years; the stringency of the tests varies from state to state, locality to locality. Here in Los Angeles, where our smog is occasionally legendary, we have especially hard standards.

#5 ReFlex76 (Link) on 2008-12-07 15:30 (Reply)

Wow, I got regognition in that one! ^_^ It's not very often I come up with an idea so good someone actually follows it~!

Traffic laws... Everyone's pretty much explained it. The best way to not get pulled over is to do what you did on your visit here, just go with the flow. The speed limit might be 45, but if everyone on the road is doing 55, it's very doubtful that you'll get pulled over. On some roads (mainly superhighways and interstates), we've got minimum speed limits, where driving any slower than the posted minimum (usually 45) is considered dangerous to other drivers... They have those over there?

Personally, I hardly ever wear a seatbelt, I tend to speed a lot, and generally drive like a hellion. But I do it with consideration to everyone around me, so the police usually don't pull me over much. I make certain that the only person in danger from my driving is me. We won't get into how I drive when I'm by myself on a dead empty road... ^_~

#6 S c y t h e on 2008-12-07 16:52 (Reply)

We have rather varied traffic laws, that all depend on where you live. For example, I've heard that people in America not only drive on the opposite side of the rode from here in my native England, but they also have the steering wheel and pedals on the wrong side of the car as well.

#7 Beast on 2008-12-07 16:56 (Reply)

S c y t h e, Please wear a seat belt at all times!

Yes, the interstate highways here also have minimum. Domain, BTW, is just off the Exit Ramp of Highway 01. (Someone at the road department liked binary code.)

#8 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2008-12-07 16:56 (Reply)

Or the Dukes of Hazzard snicker

#8.1 Bo Luke on 2008-12-07 20:40 (Reply)

Wow, you have that show over there too? Which side of the portal are you on? Man, I loved that story growing up! Three foxes living with their wily coyote uncle, always getting chased by Roscoe P. Colt!

#8.1.1 Terri the Tiger on 2008-12-08 09:19 (Reply)

Well Daisy was certainly a fox! (If ya know what ah mean...)

#8.1.1.1 Reynard on 2008-12-08 18:13 (Reply)

Thanks for the response. So he makes documentaries as well? Interesting, it's just that another comic strip mentioned him doing something more...off-color.

Interesting note about the Christmases...could you briefly mention what happened on just ONE Christmas, before you left for college?

#9 The J.A.M. on 2008-12-07 17:18 (Reply)

Have you tried to visit www.kevinandkell.com? Does anything look familiar?

#10 TuxRug (Link) on 2008-12-08 00:32 (Reply)

On my side of the portal, nothing is at the URL you mentioned.

#11 Lindesfarne Dewclaw on 2008-12-08 01:24 (Reply)

How about www.herdthinners.com? Probably the company's site in your world...

#11.1 Won-Tolla (Link) on 2008-12-08 02:45 (Reply)

How about at http://www.billholbrookstore.com ?

#11.2 Moonbase Guy (Link) on 2008-12-08 03:40 (Reply)

Hmm...maybe you could persuade your parents to start a personal page on that site.

Is there a "legal limit" to the amount of alcohol/catnip/etc. in your system, underneath which you're still legally able to drive? Again, it varies from place to place in this world. Here in Japan, the limit is zero, and if you get caught driving after drinking you WILL get the book thrown at you...

#12 Rob in Japan on 2008-12-08 05:54 (Reply)

"Someone asked about the number of Christmases we’ve had since Coney was born. I’m not sure what they meant, but it’s been a normal amount. They’ve just been action-packed."

I think that I might have a grasp upon this...maybe. Well, possibly. Or, maybe I am just twitching tails on this explanation. Anyway...

In the Human world, they are getting some incredibly detailed (or so it would seem) information through this KevinAndKell comic. For some very complicated reason, the time pace between our two worlds is skewed. Without actual access to what is being drawn in their world, how are we to even begin to know what is being taken from when, how much is total fiction and what is being blended together to keep a story flow together.

Think of it like this. The person that lived the day might say, "I woke up. I ate breakfast. I went out and bought a new dress. Then, went home and made dinner." Bland and to the point. Next, the writer spices things up. "Miss Jean opened her eyes to the fresh rays of the new morning and removed the bed sheets from her body. The rays felt good to lay under for a few minutes as she winked the sleep from her eyes. She took a deep breath and attempted to rise, only to stub a claw against the step stool and making a termite flee for it's life across the bedroom floor..." ("But, it was cloudy out side. There was no sun. And, my house is termite free..." remarked Miss Jean.)

It's kind of like telling the best parts of a movie in brief, undescriptive terms to another that had never had the benefit of first seeing said movie.

#13 jup-reindeer on 2008-12-08 05:59 (Reply)

I doubt very much that there is a common human traffic law that doesn't exist in your world. Well, except that in our world, you can't legally run a person over, no matter how hungry you are.

I hope that your next question yields a more interesting answer. A world with only one sapient species seems boring compared to yours.

#14 Classic Steve (Link) on 2008-12-08 09:38 (Reply)

Just make a point of never visiting the Garden State, Lindesfarne. You'll learn very quickly off the major highways that you can't make a left turn by turning left, but go into what we call a Jughandle. You'd need to turn right to turn left (let your mind wrap around that for abit...)

#15 Sean on 2008-12-08 15:07 (Reply)

Sean, I lived in Philly for 27 years and have gone through NJ many times. Although 'jug handles' sound absurd, they're a very good safety device. You turn right off the road you're on and get placed onto a crossing road. You make your left turn that way, and don't back up traffic on the main thoroughfare. It also reduces the chances of getting rear-ended waiting for oncoming traffic to clear so you can make your left turn.

They sound silly when you first hear about them and they take some time getting used to but they're actually a pretty smart idea.

#15.1 CharlieG on 2008-12-08 17:02 (Reply)

We actually do have jug handles on our side of the portal too. I've lived in New Jersey. Not only are they good for not tying up the flow of traffic, but if you have a vehicle that can handle going off-road for a bit, they're nice for when you need a quick snack (at least they were when I was living there!).

#15.1.1 Terri the Tiger on 2008-12-09 09:20 (Reply)

Trust me Charlie I've lived in NJ for most of my 26 years, it's just when you explain them to non-NJ/NY/CT/PA/DE people that they just are like "a whut?"

#15.1.2 Sean on 2008-12-09 14:56 (Reply)

"You need to turn right to turn left" in a jug-handle:

Also in politics here in our world. Normally you would have to pack both houses of Congress with socialists if you wanted the government to nationalize the banks and automobile manufacturers. But now, suddenly, the "big business" interests are leading the charge.

There are so many parallels between our world and yours. Is your world experiencing a financial crisis too? Is there a time delay between what happens in our world and what happens in yours? If so, would you be able to exploit it (for instance, sell all your stock when our market plunges 1,000 points, just before your market does)?

#15.2 Newfweiler on 2008-12-13 16:08 (Reply)

Not much to add, other than a few humans actually drink a catnip tea. I've never had it, so no idea what it tastes like, but certainly no "influence" on us.

#16 Bixyl Shuftan (Link) on 2008-12-08 17:43 (Reply)

Lindesfarne,this won't be answered for a while but...
1. Last week, you spoke of clothing standerds in you world. What then constitutes "porn" in your world, as no clothes is perfetly acceptable, and porn does exist in your world, as proven by your father.
2.Canids in your world cannot ingest chocolate right?Because once I thought I saw Rudy eating a chocolate bar. What avbout cake?

#17 Carmiea on 2008-12-09 12:10 (Reply)

Boy, you ask the delicate questions! lol! Well I can't fault your curiosity...in your shoes I'd want to know too. Hmmm...are you saying that on your side of the portal, mere pictures of someone with no clothes on are considered pornographic? Wow. Well, I guess that makes sense when there's no fur covering things when you're not wearing clothes. Here, it's more a matter of actions -- is the pose inviting something (you know, the start of a mating display)? And of course porn mags often include scent cards; there were times I knew not to go NEAR my brother's room when we were growing up (but I had a really sensitive nose then, and was kind of precocious besides).

As to your other question, I didn't understand what you meant, then kind of slapped my head. "Oh of course, they don't need different kinds of food for different species!" The manufacturers process different kinds of chocolate here, and mark it clearly on the label whether it's safe for canids. Just like they always have to say on the label when a food contains active catnip for those of my species. These regulations aren't perfect; just the other day a dog friend of mine was complaining about the Bush administration's slackening standards on "non-ingested foods" (like gnawing bones); there was even a recall, I think.

#17.1 Terri the Tiger on 2008-12-11 09:31 (Reply)

Agreed. Notions implying the act of mating...and, usually in excessive or ways that seem unusual and/or impossible.

When a buck and doe love one another to perform without the benefit of walls or other visual blockers in the open, for free, it becomes rather hard to sell the same image in a printed format. Of course, there are lots of variations that could sell rather well. Say, a lioness stalking a buck only to become the mountee makes front page photos.

As for food...to each, their own variety. And, whole processing plants can be brought down over the accident of mixing one species' edibles with a toxin that another can digest, perfectly fine.

#17.1.1 jup-reindeer on 2008-12-12 04:10 (Reply)

"Hmmm...are you saying that on your side of the portal, mere pictures of someone with no clothes on are considered pornographic?"

Not always. There's artistic nudity, usually present in ancient Greek and Roman statues and frescoes, then there's simple "no nudity taboo in this culture" nudity, usually found in the tribal areas of South America and Africa (our versions of 'The Wild'), then there's erotic nudity, the kind found in porn. Usually it's nudity accompanied by suggestive poses, when it's not people in the act.

I have my college art teacher to thank for drilling the differences into me. Some of the class didn't quite pick up on it though, and insisted on drawing porn. They didn't last too long, as can be imagined. There's somethings you just don't do in school.

#17.1.2 Beast on 2008-12-14 02:31 (Reply)

Gotcha, Sean. Wen you get that blank look, just tell them it's a way of making a left turn without making a left turn. It'll confuse them even more.

#18 CharlieG on 2008-12-11 08:05 (Reply)

Well, I doubt this late in the week anyone is going to read this. But I thought I'd post this anyway for Lindesfarne.

Concerning the odd "Christmas's" question, on our side this comic has been going from the year 1995, when Kell was in her last bit of her pregancy. with it almost being 2009, that's 14 years for us watching your story. Obviously, Coney is not a teenager yet. But each year we see a Christmas based story of some sort.

Most likely there is a time distortion. Perhapes the writer on our side will take various christmas stories that all happened the same time and spread them out so not to overwhelm us. I know you can't see the comic there, but except for Sundays it only has 3 to 4 panels each day. That can't cover a great deal.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm a human who reads these comics. I truely wish we could somehow paste pictures here for you to see. Then we could show you the comics (tho that might be a bit weird for you!).

Also, I happen to be a librarian whose favorite animal is a headgehog. I hope you don't mind my saying, but with that and your personality, you truely are my favorite in your family.

#19 Librarypages on 2008-12-12 14:48 (Reply)

There is a nearly lost art form called ASCII Art. With today's picture format, it's something that most never practice in. And, having color code would make it easier. Still...it's text nature and ultra low bandwidth are possible, here.

A great artist can pull wonders with it. My favorite is called The Fragile Earth. A piece of Earth with one tree in a chunk of grass is floating amidst the stars. Made years before we had internet and communication like this was possible.

Here's one I can pull off...trail of the snail. ________,o"

Or, Honest Abe. ==|:-)

Though, a good artist can do enough lines to fill a screen and make it look great.

#19.1 jup-reindeer on 2008-12-13 05:35 (Reply)

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