Virtual Quill

With all the attention I’ve been giving to Ms. Aura and the portal, life goes on here in Domain. The big news: Gran’s sudden wedding to Mr. Squirrel. I just came back from the happy event down at the courthouse.
It shouldn’t be surprising in retrospect. At their age it makes no sense to wait, and they already lost the time Mr. Squirrel spent in prison. (Meanwhile, I’m still going to hold off marrying Fenton until after we graduate.)
After the ceremony everyone went out to dinner at a local omnivore restaurant that caters to all diets. To make sure none of the patrons get devoured, they stamp your hand when you enter. That identifies you as a customer, and the stamp itself tastes awful in order to dissuade predators that would otherwise ignore the rules.
They didn’t mention a honeymoon. I doubt Mr. Squirrel wants to travel much after his prison stay; preferring to enjoy being back in his own house for a while. Tomorrow, Dad is going to help Gran move her stuff over from George and Danielle’s place where she’d been living. With George Fennec now doing most of the child care for baby Francis, Gran hadn’t been needed as much anyway.
None of Mr. Squirrel’s family was in attendance, so I suspect there’s some disapproval on their part. Of course, Gran being the object of someone else’s judgmental nature is karma of the highest sort.
Today's question: what are some human wedding customs?

Ms. Aura’s tweets have indicated that she’ll remain on the human side, but will change from a dolphin into a human. I have no idea how she’ll do this, but she obviously knows more about this portal business than I do. (When Fenton and I went through the portal that one time, we got lost and kept arriving at random destinations. We were lucky to finally discover the human world!)
Ms. Aura has expressed concern about me and this blog, but she seems more interested in the webcomic from which you humans glean details of life on this side of the portal. I share her curiosity, but unlike her I’m not acting upon it.
As events spiral beyond my control, I’m fighting the impulse to simply pull the plug on this blog. I’m not going to, mainly because Ms. Aura already knows about my activity. I might as well keep blogging in order maintain communication with you humans, and monitor the situation. Please let me know if humans begin experiencing any measurable increase or decrease in your instincts...whatever those may be!
Meanwhile, the household is still buzzing over the release from prison of Grandpa and Douglas Squirrel. While Elanor has rebuffed Grandpa’s advances, Gran and Mr. Squirrel have been spending a lot of time together since he was granted freedom.

Okay, things are becoming clearer. Ms. Aura and Nigel are on the human side of the portal, but living as dolphins. She has a device on her dorsal fin that allows her to communicate to others in her group via Twitter (at her account at catherine_aura), but some defect in that device has resulted in her tweets leaking into the public realm. She’s not aware of this...yet.
Through her tweets it’s become apparent that her role is to monitor contact between our two worlds, in order to prevent our society from collapsing through instinct loss. This is important work, and I don’t want to interfere with it.
She’s now aware of this blog I’m doing, but cannot as yet decipher it on her side of the portal. I fully anticipate an attempt to block it, but to me that’s an unnecessary gesture. It’s my belief that it’s not knowledge or awareness of humans that causes our instinct loss, but instead it’s due to an imbalance that occurs when people physically cross through the portal.
That balance was slighteest disrupted when I crossed over as an infant, and it reached a dangerous tipping point when Martha Fennec returned to Domain in human form. It subsided when Martha’s original form was restored, but then Danielle crossed over. It took Ms. Aura and Nigel going over to the human side to put it all back in balance. Since I began communicating directly with you humans a year ago I’ve been closely following the news and blogosphere for the slightest sign of instinct loss, and none have appeared.
To sum up the situation with the signals, I’m aware of what Ms. Aura saying to others in her group, but not the responses of the others so I don’t know how large the group is. She’s aware that transmissions from me are coming through the portal, but she can’t read them. We’re both concerned with preventing instinct loss, but we may come into conflict despite having the same goal.
Ms. Aura is also monitoring the webcomic on the human side. I don’t know where that fits in to all this.

Because of the online comic that apparently depicts my life in the human realm, I’m aware that you already know that Ms. Catherine Aura and her son Nigel disappeared into the portal to balance the equation caused by the presence of myself and Danielle in this world. I’m indebted to her, since she made it possible for me to remain with Fenton (and for Danielle to marry George Fennec). Danielle and I are two grateful former humans.
I’ve never gotten to the bottom of Ms. Aura’s involvement in this inter-dimensional business, and my basic curiosity (my default setting) is held back by a small inner voice telling me not to try. Yet, something has just come up; you humans know it as Twitter.
I don’t know what role Ms. Aura is playing on the human side, but in analyzing the transmissions from the other side I’ve come across what seems to be her Twitter account: catherine_aura. Her cryptic tweets seem to indicate an interest, an awareness and even some sort of an authority over the nexus between our worlds. Even more concerning, she seems to be referring to the signals carrying this blog, although she hasn’t yet been able to read them. Yet.
I’m worried and confused. Here, we assumed she was an ordinary schoolteacher until she showed up on Danielle’s wedding boat at sea. Logic would indicate that her role was a cover for something else, but then she vanished.
My question this week is somewhat urgent: Can you humans see her Twitter postings?

The ruling from the patent office was an affirmative one for Ms. Eyeshine. Mr. Hammer’s whole strategy was to play on the gender prejudice against her in the field, which may have worked if she hadn’t had the full weight of Herd Thinners Inc. behind her. The mere presence of R.L. led to a quick and speedy hearing. Mr. Hammer’s protestations to take it to a higher court were made literal when the Herd Thinners lawyer chased him up a tree.
With the patent safely in hand, Ms. Eyeshine’s claim to the process is unchallenged. Now the hard part begins. Turning any kind of invention into an actual product is a long, torturous path, filled with regulatory hurdles, funding issues and the always fickle nature of the marketplace. The good news for her is that the main headaches now belong to her major investor, Herd Thinners, Inc. They’re the ones who have to shepherd the invention through the journey.
I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever used the word “shepherd” in conjunction with “Herd Thinners, Inc.”
My guess is that Ms. Eyeshine’s process will end up mainly being used in mass transit since it requires at least one passenger who has fur. That eliminates a large number of potential buyers...including humans.
This week's question: now that summer vacation is here, where humans like to do for holidays?

I write this just after drying off from my shower. What flea-barf lacks in quantity, it makes up for in smell. Yuck.
Anyway, now I'm clean. It's been an interesting week, starting the minute I got home from Beige U. for the summer. Immediately after
throwing my stuff in my room, I went across the street with Kell to Ms. Eyeshine's house.
Since I already knew that Ms. Eyeshine had three different computers since she left Manxwell Hammer, I suspected he'd gotten into her files through her E-mail account. After checking the basics, that was confirmed when she divulged her password which was a single word that was easily guessed. Just substituting a few numbers for letters didn't stop him from gaining access.
At this point I should caution everyone on both sides of the portal to be extra careful when choosing passwords. It can trip up anyone, even someone as smart and savvy as Ms. Eyeshine.
I set up a new E-mail for Ms. Eyeshine, but we kept the old compromised account which Ms. Eyeshine then filled with erroneous data. I can only guess what happened when he applied that data to his demo.
At any rate, the failure of his demonstration led to a hearing in which the terrain favored Ms. Eyeshine....mainly because she had R.L. and the full weight of Herd Thinners, Inc. protecting the investment they'd made in her. I'll write more next weekend on the outcome.
I'll be limited in my responses this week, so you'll all mainly have to talk amongst yourselves. What are intellectual property rights like over there?

The answer: Aby Eyeshine. Oh, there are plenty of electric cars around, not to mention hybrids, but it was Ms. Eyeshine who found a way of continually recharging the battery with static created by rubbing the fur of the passengers. (It can only be the vehicle’s passengers, of course, since the gentle stroking would cause drivers to fall asleep at the wheel.)
She’s been working on this ever since she finagled R.L. into funding her research. (She also got an expansion of her auto shop out of the deal.) She was very excited, until she actually applied for the patent.
That’s when she found out that a patent for the same process had been granted just the day before to Manxwell Hammer, a manx cat to whom she’d been engaged a decade ago in Silicon Valley. She was furious, and she also felt violated. Obviously he’d had access to her various computers for all these years.
I got all this from Kell, asking me to come home right away to investigate. I have my theories of how he did it, but I won’t know until I get inside her machine.
Personally, I have mixed feelings about her invention. While any reduction in fossil fuel usage is a positive development, there wouldn’t be much electricity created by rubbing my quills!
Today's question: How many of you are done with school for the summer? I am!

I had to wish Kell a Happy Mothers Day from afar, as I don’t return from Beige until later this week. I sent her a text, an E-card and virtual flowers. I heard that Coney gave her something a bit more “hands on.”
She’s still looking for ways to “assist” with Ms. Eyeshine’s social life. She really can’t help herself; it’s her canine nature to enthusiastically rush into situations where she thinks she can make a positive difference. That impulse ordinary infuriates most felines, which is one of the many reasons the two genuses have such conflicts. That it doesn’t seem to bother Ms. Eyeshine is a mystery, but it’s not one that I’m going to get involved in.
That canine habit on Kell’s part is the main reason that I regard her as the true maternal influence in my life. Angelique was the adult female in the household in which I was raised, but she was so distant I never regarded her in anything approaching motherly terms. Gran had similarly removed herself from regular contact with me. When Dad married Kell, for the first time an adult female regarded me with actual interest. Maybe if I was an English major I’d have words to express how incredible that was to experience.
As for my biological mother, well, she’s on the other side of the portal. Which leads to this week's question. How do humans celebrate Mothers Day?

While I’m studying for final exams and completing my lab work in the genetics department here at Beige, the big news back home is the grand opening of Ms. Eyeshine’s expansion of her auto shop.
She got the money from Herd Thinners, Inc., making her one of the few individuals to come away from a negotiation with R.L. and live to tell about it. In addition to servicing the Herd Thinners fleet of cars and vans (required to transport fresh kills), Aby is also experimenting on alternative fuels. That makes Herd Thinners an investor in green technology. (Kell says R.L. hates the adjective Green; he thinks it sounds herbivorous.)
Gran and Elanor are still handling the business side of the auto shop, and they’ve discovered they make a good team as their managerial skills complement each other. The expansion means extra work for them, including hiring new staff. In this economy they have no shortage of applicants.
Ms. Eyeshine, meanwhile, is cool and composed throughout everything. She’s unflappable, calm and collected no matter what seems to get thrown her way. While felines do have the ability to land on their feet, that level of poise is rare for even them.
This week's question: What types of alternative fuels show promise on the human side of the portal?

Ms. Fuscus just doesn’t let up.
I wondered last week how long the radio silence coming from their household would last, and the answer was, not very. I do give her props for coming up with a logical engineering solution to the limited church space (My family fills up the pews, while Fenton’s hangs from the rafters.), but the point is, WE HAVEN’T SET THE DATE!
Sorry about the all caps. Bad netiquette, I know.
I feel sorry for Fenton, who’s caught in the middle. Complicating things even further is Tree, who has been a nurturing, maternal presence in Fenton’s life for some time. Tree is supportive (literally) and doesn't make demands.
In other news, Kell did acquiesce to Rudy giving half of his Easter Bunny scholarship to Fiona. Kell insisted that everything be in writing, so Dad arranged to have a motion passed by the Rabbit Council. He even set it up so that Coney (who attends all the meetings) cast the final vote.
I got an E-mail from Tammy. It’s the pollen season, which she feeds on. Angstrom is a growing little firefly, and Tammy says he’s almost as bright as Ray. Together, father and son can really illuminate that lighthouse.
Up next, I’ve got the usual end-of-semester headaches, including exams. Today's question: Do human students have finals at this time of year?

It’s late spring, which to me means one thing. Final exams in three weeks.
Also, the insects are coming out, and Fenton’s parents have been feasting on the new population. This is when our Northern hemisphere becomes a big smorgasbord for us insectivores. In particular, we have a large crop of tent caterpillars this season. Yum.
So far the Fuscus family has been focused on eating instead of harassing me to set a wedding date. We’ll see how long that fortunate state of affairs lasts.
Meanwhile, Rudy and Fiona delivered last week’s Easter eggs with only one incident. A certain bird of prey mistook Rudy for a prey species, with the outcome being that Coney discovered a Very Special Egg just for her.
Finally, here’s the YouTube video of the week. (No, it’s not the woman from Scotland singing on that TV show.) The human version of this video probably isn’t as entertaining as the one on our side of the portal, since we had dozens of species participating.
This week’s question: I know humans are omnivores who eat pretty much anything, but that only few of you eat insects. What insects do you eat?

Rudy and Fiona just returned from distributing the Easter eggs all over the county, with a very special “egg” just for Coney.
Rudy did a very selfless thing this week in arranging for Fiona to get half of his college scholarship money. It’s completely fair since Fiona has done half of the work, and the Rabbit Council approved the change by a simple voice vote. Kell had reservations, of course (looking out for her son above all else), but Rudy’s logical arguments swayed her.
Of course, he couldn’t resist getting off a verbal potshot at me. A scholarship and marriage are two different things. Ahem.
This was all after Dad and Kell returned from their Second Honeymoon. They’d encountered a Bear family who’d been cheated out of the resort they owned, because they followed the instructions of a financial advisor named Goldilocks who had underhanded motives. She abused the trust they had in her, and she gave them advice that enabled her to take over their property. It turned out, however, that she was lousy at running a resort and it was already teetering on the edge of solvency when my folks showed up.
Kell walked around the cabins brushing her fur, and the few remaining guests fled in terror at the scent of a wolf. Goldilocks couldn’t make her own payments (due the next day), and instead of going through the whole foreclosure/bankruptcy thing she just agreed to sell it back to the Bears. Yeah, she made a profit. Everyone seemed to live happily ever after.
One note. Rudy made a comment about Dad being a rodent. He does know the difference between lagomorphs and rodents, but he’s never let a fact stand in the way of a good insult.
Today's question: How do humans of the Christian faith celebrate Easter? I'm guessing it has nothing to do with eggs and bunnies!

I was right.
Dad was in mortal danger.
In fact, he would have been eaten if not for an unusually scrupulous bear.
In search of an Internet connection, Dad had wandered upon a cottage made of alfalfa and clover. (Rabbit candy!) Sometimes his lack of fear is a liability, and in this case it led to him taking a bite of the building material. It turned out to be drugged, designed to lure unsuspecting rabbits and knock them out.
The cottage belonged to the bear family that had once owned the resort, and was now living in poverty. The son (formerly known as "Baby Bear") could have simply eaten Dad while staying entirely within the rules of Carnivorism which states all predation must be anonymous. Even though he recognized Dad from an earlier stay at the resort (Rabbits Dad's size are pretty memorable.) such a fleeting encounter wouldn't have precluded a later attempt, especially since Dad wasn't being individually targeted.
Even so, the bear spared Dad's life and put him a cage so no one else would eat him. That's where Kell found him a few moments after he came to.
I'll write more next weekend about how events played out after that. Unfortunately the dimensional portals are unstable right now, so I won't be able to respond to postings this week. So talk amongst yourselves! Here's a question: what are humans' favorite candies?

I just uploaded a video to YouTube but I took it down after Rudy begged me. (Getting to see the whole begging thing was the reason I posted the video in the first place.)
Dad and Kell are away for their second honeymoon. After they arrived they texted me that the woodland resort where they’d gone on their first honeymoon was indeed under new management. A mouse named Goldilocks was now running the place instead of the bear family that had earlier been in charge. I’ll bet there’s a story behind that.
After they finished unpacking I didn’t hear from them for quite a while.
When they did check in it was via the cabin’s land line. Kell telephoned to say that there was no cell phone service or wireless Internet connection within range. (Apparently Goldilocks isn’t that great a resort manager; the literature claims the cabins have both.) I just hope Dad doesn’t do anything to put himself in danger, like wandering around outside to look for a signal. He usually doesn’t have anything to fear from most predators, but if he’s distracted enough he might let his guard down.
But, hey, if he stays inside with Kell he’ll be safe.
Kell just called. Crap.
She’s going out now to find him.

Coney’s now three, and with her newfound maturity (i.e., not eating anything unrelated to her) she’s able to be trusted without an adult constantly supervising her movements for the protection of others. One of the side benefits of this development is that Dad and Kell can finally take a vacation by themselves. (Elanor and Gran will look after Coney, with Rudy helping out until Friday night when I return from college for the weekend.)
After long and careful consideration of the myriad of options available to them, Dad and Kell decided to return to the cabin in the woods where they spent their honeymoon. They were thrown off by the name change; it’s now called Goldilocks Resorts. It was called something else when they stayed there.
The website describes it as an “enchanted forest getaway, free from the stresses of civilization, yet with all the amenities unavailable to the Wild denizens. It’s the Best of both worlds!!!” (Exclamation points theirs.) They go on to wax rapturously over the lush terrain and babbling brooks.
I doubt that my folks will see much of the exterior anyway.
This week's question for you married humans: Where did you go on your honeymoon?